Thursday, May 17, 2007

Potluck Day

It's potluck day today at work. It's a day to get together and break bread with your coworkers. A day to get to know the folks in distant cubicles. A day to lie about how much you like Janine's potato salad and that Steve's corn dog bites aren't dry and hard at all. But most of all it is a day to let your hair down and tell stories about your boyfriend passing out drunk with his pants down and sporting a woody.

You see, there is a girl here who can't seem to stop saying and doing inappropriate things around the office. Since I have been here, she has had several mishaps. Here is a short list:
  • Got wasted at last company get together and decided it would be funny to grab everybody's asses.
  • Threw up outside above event on a very crowded street.
  • Accidentally sent an email to everyone in the department asking if she could borrow a tampon.
  • A picture of her flashing some guy at a bar was circulated throughout the office.
  • Called a client with the name Bonner "Mr. Boner" repeatedly until he corrected her on the pronunciation.

I am not a person who is offended by any of this but I feel bad for her cuz she is never going to get promoted as long as she is at this company. Poor girl.


Natalie said...

I think she sounds like a blast! A hot mess but really entertaining to have around.

thirdworstpoetinthegalaxy said...

She sounds lovely!

Winter said...

Oh, that stuff doesn't get you promoted?

Michael you not only blog, but teach life lessons.

*takes notes

Michael K said...

Natalie: She's a good person to make you feel better about your own shortcomings.

3rd: She's actually kind of a gossip.

Winter: Smart-ass.

Grant Miller said...

My wife got a little tipsy at her last office get together. I really hope you're not talking about her.

Michael K said...

Grant: Unless your wife hangs out at bars in Wrigleyville and flashes her tits for drinks, I think she's safe.

Winter said...

Michael: You love it.

metrobabe said...

Ah, the classic workplace blunder. Tell me this, has she ever tucked her skirt INTO her stockings and then walk around the office? That's always a crowd-pleaser...