Monday, May 14, 2007

The Grant Miller Interview


The Benevolent and Honourable Site Master at Grant Miller Media
has seen fit to interview yours truly. After recently accusing him of plagiarism, I was a little concerned with how it would go. Thankfully, he didn't put the screws to me too hard.

GM: You lived/worked in DeKalb and seem to know many the same people I know
from there. But I'm unsure we've ever met in real life. Have we and I'm
just an asshole for forgetting?

MoF: We have probably met but I was a bartender at the Annex and there is a good chance that one or both of us were drunk at the time. Your pic looks vaguely familiar but boozin' don't make for good face recognizin'.

GM: You once commented that your dad was a drummer. If so, did he still want
to work? Or did he prefer just banging on the drum all day?

MoF: Aside from banging on his drums, my dad worked on growing his hair and
moustache. I have often described my dad as looking just like Derek Smalls from Spinal Tap. He also did a lot of laundry for his six filthy kids.

GM: Your TV has only two channels. One channel is all politics all the time.
The other is just cooking shows. What do you do?

MoF: I am a sales manager (yeah, I know it's boring). I used to cook at a
fancy ass resturant but after I got divorced I realized that I was not
going to build any mansions on a chef's salary. I headed back to the
office to avoid living in a refrigerator box in the alley. Of course, it
would be a Sub Zero box and the alley would be behind Bloomingdale's. I
got standards.

GM: You live in Chicago. Is Chicago a great city or the greatest city and
why?

MoF: I like to think it is the greatest city because I am vain and refuse to
believe my choice to live here could be anything but pure genious. When
the wind comes clipping off the lake in the middle of January I question my judgement a little. Then I get home and chow on some hot pierogi I bought from the Polish market up the street from me and everything is all better.

GM: Why should people read your blog?

MoF: Because work is boring and sometimes I am not. Also, I never post pictures of kittens or hamsters and dumb shit like that. Take that www.hamstersphoto.com! You suck!

If you would like to be interviewed by me, let me know

6 comments:

Mr. Love said...

Yeah, I just bet you love to "chow on hot pierogi," don't you, Douche-a-rooski?

KO to the KO to the motherfucking MO, bitch!!!!!!!!!

Winter said...

Wow, this is going to seem kinda lame after Mr. Love's comment.

So you have how many brothers and sisters?

Michael K said...

I have 1 older sister and 4 younger brothers. We are all equally messed up by our less than traditional upbringing.

metrobabe said...

Great interview!!

Winter said...

What do you consider traditional?

Michael K said...

A dad who goes to work in the morning and doesn't encourage me to smoke weed with him on holidays since I turned 18.

Pop: What? You're too cool to smoke a bowl with your old man?

Me: I don't like pot, Pop. Makes me feel stupid.

Pop: What's the difference?