Monday, May 14, 2007

The Grant Miller Interview

The Benevolent and Honourable Site Master at Grant Miller Media
has seen fit to interview yours truly. After recently accusing him of plagiarism, I was a little concerned with how it would go. Thankfully, he didn't put the screws to me too hard.

GM: You lived/worked in DeKalb and seem to know many the same people I know
from there. But I'm unsure we've ever met in real life. Have we and I'm
just an asshole for forgetting?

MoF: We have probably met but I was a bartender at the Annex and there is a good chance that one or both of us were drunk at the time. Your pic looks vaguely familiar but boozin' don't make for good face recognizin'.

GM: You once commented that your dad was a drummer. If so, did he still want
to work? Or did he prefer just banging on the drum all day?

MoF: Aside from banging on his drums, my dad worked on growing his hair and
moustache. I have often described my dad as looking just like Derek Smalls from Spinal Tap. He also did a lot of laundry for his six filthy kids.

GM: Your TV has only two channels. One channel is all politics all the time.
The other is just cooking shows. What do you do?

MoF: I am a sales manager (yeah, I know it's boring). I used to cook at a
fancy ass resturant but after I got divorced I realized that I was not
going to build any mansions on a chef's salary. I headed back to the
office to avoid living in a refrigerator box in the alley. Of course, it
would be a Sub Zero box and the alley would be behind Bloomingdale's. I
got standards.

GM: You live in Chicago. Is Chicago a great city or the greatest city and

MoF: I like to think it is the greatest city because I am vain and refuse to
believe my choice to live here could be anything but pure genious. When
the wind comes clipping off the lake in the middle of January I question my judgement a little. Then I get home and chow on some hot pierogi I bought from the Polish market up the street from me and everything is all better.

GM: Why should people read your blog?

MoF: Because work is boring and sometimes I am not. Also, I never post pictures of kittens or hamsters and dumb shit like that. Take that! You suck!

If you would like to be interviewed by me, let me know


Mr. Love said...

Yeah, I just bet you love to "chow on hot pierogi," don't you, Douche-a-rooski?

KO to the KO to the motherfucking MO, bitch!!!!!!!!!

Winter said...

Wow, this is going to seem kinda lame after Mr. Love's comment.

So you have how many brothers and sisters?

Michael K said...

I have 1 older sister and 4 younger brothers. We are all equally messed up by our less than traditional upbringing.

metrobabe said...

Great interview!!

Winter said...

What do you consider traditional?

Michael K said...

A dad who goes to work in the morning and doesn't encourage me to smoke weed with him on holidays since I turned 18.

Pop: What? You're too cool to smoke a bowl with your old man?

Me: I don't like pot, Pop. Makes me feel stupid.

Pop: What's the difference?