Saturday, April 29, 2006

Number 2

In another forum I have been discussing child raising with a few friends. I am not a parent but having 4 younger brothers gave me a lot of insight into the process. It all made me think about how my early childhood influenced who I am.

A topic that came up is that parents learn different things with each child and therefor treat them differently. The first child is rarely left unattended. Number 1 is the child parents are worried to death will die if not constantly tended to. Good parents will eventually figure out that kids are made of rubber and have remarkable healing powers and stop fussing too much over the little one's every move. Hopefully, not too much damage has been done by the time they figure it out.

I was number 2. Parents have learned through the first child (unless something terrible happened to number 1) that kids are pretty rugged things and can take lumps and recover pretty well. As number 2, I was given more time to myslef and left to do what I wanted (often whatever my older sister wanted) and I assumed the role of kid who fought for attention. Number 1 already had trained my folks that she needed constant praise and attention. I am the one who is always going to be OK. I was given the role of the independent one from a very early age. I did not like that role.

I fought for attention constantly. When my sister learned to read, I learned to read better. When my sister brought an art project home from school, I would work madly to copy a picture from a real artist so that it could go up on the fridge. I had to out do my sister. She was not competitive and at some point she gave up. She was held back a year in school and I was advanced so that we ended up in the same grade. This lead to even more attention being given to my sister's problems and having a younger brother at home just made it harder for me.

More kids came and as time went on I did all sorts of things. Instead of remaining competitve ,since I assumed the role of eldest child once I had been in the same grade as my sister, I started acting up and getting into trouble. Not only did I get attention that made me feel important but it was fun to be bad. A lot of fun.

Now that I am older (I hope wiser) I wonder how much of my personality and the way I act is influenced by my younger years. I know I am not the same person but I know that I still try to "out do" people and do things I know are wrong from time to time. How are we all affected by our early development and how does that affect how we view the world?

Bye For Now

For a lot of reasons, I am leaving Fargo for now. My wife and I are going our separate ways but I don't want anyone to think poorly of her or her family. They are all great people. My wife is still the best one and she knows it. I know it.

I hope that she will be my best friend until the day I die. Her folks are great too, and though it has been disappointing to them, I want them to know that I have loved them very much and will always think of them well. They are my family now and I hope they will continue to be. I know that they need to protect Laura now but let's hope we can understand each other in the future.

Jerry, I love you like a father. You and I were great companions at family gatherings when most other fellas wanted to speak of golf. I also liked that you appreciated the simple things. Nothing is better than a plate filled with your ribs and a story. I hope you can understand that this was not my plan. I really love you. You mean a lot to me.

Kathi, I love your odd sense of humor. You would laugh at jokes that noone else would laugh at and also jokes noone intended. That takes a keen ear. Also, your pride in not eating fruit seemed odd to me but also made me like you since I grew up as an odd duck. You are sweet and odd and that is a winning combination to me. A unique person with strength and humor. You charmed me.

Laura's brother, Jim, deserves special respect for everything he has done for me. He has been the one person I have been able to have unbiased conversations with since this all has started. He is the best man I have ever met and I want him to know that I will respect him always.

I want everyone to help make this as painless as possible.

I will return soon and I don't know where. Until then, keep watching out for our neighborhood, It is bigger than me and my wife even if I can't see that right now.



Monday, April 17, 2006

Guilty! Will they hear an appeal?

George Ryan found guilty on all counts:

My guess is, "Yes." This case just barely avoided a mistrial after the tainted juror controversy. Even though it seems such a conclusive verdict, I doubt it can be avoided. Should the states attornwey's office bother to carry on with the trial of an elderly man? What do you think?

Thursday, April 13, 2006


This is where the van that occupied much of my waking moments once rested. After nearly a year of work and nonstop complaining/cojoling it is finally gone! I am so happy I could spit. Thanks to everyone who put pressure on the owners to have it removed. I was satrting to think it was going to be a permanent resident in the neighborhood. I am hoping this is part of an effort by the owner to improve the property. Maybe they will plant grass in front of the building that is currently bare dirt? I can dream can't I?