K-Mart Hates Jesus

I am not a religious person so while much of the city was celebrating Easter today, I decided to bee-bop on down to Target and pick up a few items. It was a nice walk along the Boulevard but when I got to Target they were closed. You see, I had forgotten it was Easter altogether since I had no plans to celebrate and I am retarded.

Anyways, I headed down Elston to give Kohl's a shot. No dice. They were locked up tight. Wicker Park K-mart? Bingo! No religious zealots runnin' K-mart. Scored a new lock for my bike and some Vitamin Water and then ran into my friend Tom in the parking lot who gave me a ride home.

Had myself a sammich and got dressed for a long bike ride. I decided to test my route to work. It's a pretty good ride at about 13 miles each way. It was fun to get out and ride again after being cooped up all winter. Also, it was nice to get out of the house and away from the disturbing cooing of the amorous pigeons on my back porch.

I felt pretty good when I got back and stopped at Wally's for a treat but alas they were closed. K-Mart might be run by atheists but Wally's is run by Polish folks and nobody loves themselves some Catholicism like the Polish. So instead of sausages for dinner I am ordering Thai food as my reward. I'm sure my doctor would be thrilled since this is the first year I can remember not eating 6 pounds of spiral cut ham on Easter.

By the way, doesn't it seem strange that we celebrate the the resurrection of the King of the Jews by wolfing down a whole mess of pork? Maybe it's just me.

Happy Easter to those of you who are inclined to Christianity. If you're Greek orthodox, I'll see you at Walgreen's tomorrow scoring those discounted Peeps.