Tuesday, July 17, 2007


I've had a few embarassing moments since moving to my new floor. The first was yesterday morning after going to the bathroom. I finished my business and walked to the sink. I waved my hands in front of the motion sensitive faucet and waited for the water to come out. Nothing. I waved some more. Still no water. I started mumbling curses. That's when the guy behind me chimed in:

Guy: It's not automatic.

Me: (realizing there are knobs on the faucet) Oh. The one on my old floor was.

Guy: Well, this one isn't.

Fucking guy! What a jerk.

The next thing was towards the end of the day. I was waiting for the elevator to go down to 3 to get a Diet Dr. Pepper. It's my favorite soda but they don't have it in the machines on 9. While waiting I see a guy come out of the women's bathroom. "Was the men's room full or something?", I say. I got almost to the end of my statement before I realized I was talking to a woman who just really looked like a guy. She just looked at me. I stared at the elevator. She also waited for the elevator. A few more seconds passed and I patted my pockets and whispered, "Shit! Forgot my wallet.", and walked back to my desk. There was no f'n way I was riding on that elevator.


Winter said...

That was the funniest thing ever.

You win.

P.S. Try Coke Zero.

thirdworstpoetinthegalaxy said...

Oh, my. Well, if it helps, I got a much-needed laugh out of your day.

And for whatever it's worth, I hope the 9th floor redeems itself in the very near future.

Beth said...


I used to work with a Pat, named Lesley. I heard someone say that Lesley was in the restroom, so I ran to tbe back of the store to see which room was used. My Lesley was a she.

Prairie Dawg said...

I hope you kicked that guys ass. Or seriously thought about it.

I have much love for the Doctor's mysterious soft drink, as well as Mr. Pibb's quixotic and plagiarized variant, but shouldn't guys of advanced years such as ourselves chillax on the sodapop? esp. the diet ones?

Michael K said...

Winter: Coke Zero tastes too much like regular Coke and is too sweet fro me.

3rd:The fun room with the video games and the massage chairs is on 9 so it's got that.

beth: My mom's name is Leslie.

p-dawg: I still get Mr. Pibb when I can find it. I am addicted to soda.

Grant Miller said...

I like your style. Funny stuff.

Natalie said...

You may have to switch floors as soon as possible.