Saturday, March 17, 2007

Everything's Gone Green


Happy St. Patrick's Day everybody. It was such a nice morning to day that I thought I'd begin a new initiative I like to call "It IS My F'n Job." In this movement, I am going to try and do something good for my community each weekend. Today, in honor of the holiday, I decided to do something "green" and clean up the trash on my block. Two hours later and the parkways on my block are litter free... for about 5 minutes. Among the items collected:
  • Beer and Soda cans - 3
  • Vodka, rum and other liquor bottles - 11
  • Diapers - 2 (unsoiled)
  • Jeans - 1 pair
  • Gloves - 5 (no matching pairs)
  • Socks - 1
  • Discarded parking tickets - 2
  • Chinese take out menus -3 zillion
  • Little red rubberbands used to secure above menus to gates and doorknobs -1 zillion
  • Keys - 1 set (had a tag stating to put them in the nearest mailbox)
  • Doll - 1 (very creepy and apparently dog chewed)
  • Sizzlin' Hot Cheetos bags - 13
  • A lot of small metal objects and stuff that appeared to have fallen off of people's cars
  • Assorted plastic and paper products and cigarette butts- 5 garbage bags worth
I was kind of surprised by the quantity of paper goods. I was also surprised by the absence of drug paraphenalia. No condoms either. I am thinking about getting some folks to hit the park down the street next week so I am sure it's just a matter of time.

BTW, I decided to leave the freshly thawed dog poop for Mother Nature to take care of.


Craig Gernhardt said...

Five minutes of clean - is five minutes of clean. Pat yourself on the back.

As for the dog doo-doo, Margot and I sponsored and held a poop scoop clean up a couple of years ago. I'll never do that again. Margot and I were the only one's who showed up.

Thomas Westgard said...

I decided to adopt the little patch of grass in front of my office. It's definitely a progressional thing - it gets dirty, I clean it, it gets dirty again. The first cleaning did take a while, but upkeep goes a lot faster. That's okay - I know the stuff will wait for me. I have a shovel for the dog poop, and a grabber for the paper. Every couple of days.

Michael K said...

Craig, I can't imagine why more people didn't show for that project. I wish people were a bit more vigilant about cleaning up after their pooches but I know I have run out of bags a few times myself. I will take a hose to poop on the sidewalk but if it's in the grass, I just let nature take it's course.

Couch Captain said...

Got one of those "reach and grabs" good way to start the morning going out to pick up trash...I see well dressed people pull up in nice cars and empty trash to the curbs, I'd like to think it's just the poor uneducated sorts but I know people making 6 figure salaries and they throw trash out of their cars all over the city.

These guys used to live on the block, they'd hang out in front of their apt building and drop all sort of trash to the street, then the next day they'd come out to enjoy the nice weather and sit in their own trash.

I have a real thing for dog poop, it drives me mad. I keep plastic bags on my front porch when ever I see someone about to leave us a gift I go out and with the nicest tone you'd ever want to hear I say "hey buddy could you please do me a favor and pick that up, oh and thanks you sir have a nice day" I'd like to say other things but I don't want to make people upset, too much crazy stuff going on today, someone might take offense and reach for a weapon. Gitmo for poop offenders.

It is illegal to leave dog crap but it's also illegal to rob, shoot and kill but that doesn't seem to stop people. We thought about putting up a camera and over the pics to police, but then we wouldn't be making friends so we scraped the idea.

Grant Miller said...

When I used to work on a tour boat in Chicago, I always was amazed at the number of condoms I'd see floating in the river. "I guess people are having a lot of safe sex," I told the captain. "Well, those are probably from hookers or homeless people on Lower Wacker," was his reply.

Sheesh said...

The dog poop sends me over the edge. I almost ALWAYS step in it. There's a section on the corner of Birchwood and Greenview that is covered in dog poop. It's disgusting.

Michael - Good for you for taking the time to clean up your block!

Michael K said...


I was stationed in NY while in the Navy on Staten Island. I used to smoke and when I went out to the smoking deck, I was greeted with a view of Lady Liberty every morning. Then I'd look down at the harbor and count the syringes. Kind of a past time of mine. Every once in a while we'd get a real treat like a dead shark or a whale in the harbor. Good times.

kroushlconflict said...

Great job.
And the correct name for those cheetos is "Hot Flames" by the way.

AAAAAAHHHH the thawing pooo. Hate it. We live next to an empty lot people like to think of as the "Giant Dog Toilet". I like to stand on my porch and give them the Stank Eye. It usually works. People don't have the nerve to leave the poo when someone's watching.