Thursday, March 15, 2007

Whole Lotta Sheikhin' Goin' On


Khalid Sheikh Mohammed apparently confessed to almost every crime commited in the past 20 years according to reports I read today. It's all a little fishy. Here's why I don't think he really did all these things:
  • His nickname was "The Brain. " On the show Pinky and the Brain, The Brain could never accomplish shit.
  • He looks like Ron Jeremy's derelict older brother.
  • In order to have done all these things, you'd think he would have been a little better at evading capture. When they caught him, he looked like he had just been taken from his trailer after watching "Arab COPS" in his underwear while eating 2 day old fried chicken. Lil greasy.
I think this guy knows he is going down and figures he can only further his cause by admitting to a lot of shit he didn't really do. He can protect other guilty parties and also make himself appear to be the greatest hero that ever lived amongst other extremists. Either that, or we just tortured the shit out of him until he started admitting to everything we put in front of him to make ourselves look like we have everything under control. In any case, I am waiting for this thing to play out before I start celebrating. Also, can we please not pursue the death penalty and make ourselves look less like blood thirsty shitbags for once?

6 comments:

kroushlconflict said...

It's actually documented that if you wear someone down enough, they'll confess to anything. It's one of the strongest arguments against torture (that's not based on ethics, that is). "Nailing Christ to that tree? Yeah, yeah... that was me... Me and my blessed hammer. Blah, blah, blah... Now, take those jumper cables off my nuts."

bigsoda said...

^
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That's actually me, not Laura. She signed in on my laptop and I didn't notice when I started posting...

Thomas Westgard said...

Who's Ron Jeremy?

Michael K said...

Devin,

I am glad that was you and not your lady. I'd hate to think of the mother of your little angel talking about zapping someone's balls.

You're dead on right though.

Thomas,

I'll let you Google that one for yourself.

santipissed said...

what the hell is going here?

I totally thought Ron jeremy made the news when i saw that photo that the photo the other day.
Anna Nicole's kid's father?

Thomas Westgard said...

I just wanted to find out what you'd say.