Everyone Else Has Blogged About It So Here's My Bullshit Opinion

So... I was talking to my page about riding my bike and working out the other day and he told me that it seemed he had this conversation before. I apologized for being unoriginal and gave him a back rub.

This Foley guy is exactly the kind of hypocrite that good old liberal folks like me love to watch take a fall. He was a closeted homosexual who pushed a conservative anti-gay rights agenda. What a pig. He hated himself for what he was and now everybody else hates him for what he did.

Can we stop asking if Hastert is going to step down? Denny Hastert isn't going to be the speaker much longer if the GOP keeps handling all this crap so badly. If he would just say, "I fucked up but we are going to fix it.", he'd be fine. All this finger pointing is a joy to watch as a left leaning "semi-independent" (let's face it, the only R I ever voted for was Denny when I lived in his district and only because he was the speaker) as it makes me feel good to know that the wheels aren't just coming off the bus but is screaching down the highway on it's hubs. Problem is, I think that we are losing focus on figuring out how to stop this kind of shit from happening.

I am not going to equate homosexuality with pedophilia. Please don't get that impression from what I am about to say. The vast majority of cases of molestation are homosexual in nature (80% according to one study). I think a big reason for this is that many homosexual men are forced to hide their sexual orientation because it is not accepted by the society they associate with. That includes religious groups and conservative politics. I believe that many priests are driven to the cloth because they are taught to be ashamed of themselves but are trying to be holy and the only way they feel they can escape the sin that is in their mind is to take a vow of chastity. Chastity does not make a person a sex offender. Temptation and lust does. Most cases of priests taking advantage of boys is generally not with small children but rather with sexually mature (although technically still children) boys that they work with every day. Backstage at the Catholic church is a boys club. Straight priests don't molest young girls because they are never alone with them to be tempted. There are lots of occasions of priests having consensual sexual relations with adult women. Straight Priests break their vows too.

What I am getting at is pretty simple. If you tell someone that their sexuality is wicked, they will hide it. In some cases, these same people will not be able to control their urges and will look to a young object of desire that they feel they can easily manipulate. I believe that if homosexuality were not so demonized in this country Mark Foley would have led an open life and wouldn't have had to turn to booze and inappropriate correspodence with young boys to fill whatever hole he has in his life.

We need to address sexuality in all it's forms and encourage people to be open about it. In some cases we may find a person who lives in shame for having feelings for a same sex partner. We could teach them to be OK with their consensual relationship. In other cases we may be able to treat someone with a deviant and criminal sexual problem and find ways to treat them. The only way to keep sex offenders from commiting crimes is to treat them.

Anyway, that's my two cents on all this. I am sick of all this and making the age of a page 18 is only going to make the next group of manipulated kids 2 years older.

Why Is Katie Couric On 60 Minutes?

I watch 60 minutes every week because I want to watch bad guys get taken to task for the terrible shit they do to the little guy. Tonight, I had to suffer through Katie making Condoleeza Rice look like the black Cinderella. Where were the questions about the war and the report this week that concluded we are in far worse shape in regards to terrorism now than we were before the "War on Terror" started? Instead, she made her seem like she was a good loyal soldier and almost seemed to adore her. Oh, look! She plays piano. Isn't that nice and cute? And now they're talking about boys! You'd think she was interviewing my mom. Where's Ed Bradley when you need him? He would have handed her her ass faster than you can say, "earring."

Tailgating Windfall

I was on my way home from visiting with my mother today (thanks to Stevie for driving) and while stuck in traffic on LSD I noticed something odd about the parking lot. It seems that there are a lot of people who cannot be bothered to clean their grills and pack them up. I saw at least 2 dozen abandoned grills. One of them looked like a full sized Weber! If it had not been pouring rain and my brother had not been in a huge hurry to get home, I would have gone over there and collected one. I recommend to all that read this to head on over to the south parking lot next home game and get yourself a free grill.

Secretary of Statesville

George Ryan was sentenced to 6 1/2 years yesterday. A friend of mine thinks that is a little harsh considering his advanced age and poor health. I think it is light considering his actions indirectly caused the deaths of 6 children in a car accident.

I have a few questions:

1. Will he serve any time? I expect an appeal process that could carry him through to the end of his life.
2. Should advanced age and poor health be taken into consideration when sentencing someone? It seems to me that he is lucky to be sentenced now when he is nearing the end of his life and not while he was young and full of life. To be put in prison in the prime of your life seems much more cruel than at the end.
   

I Think She's Gone.

A group of people I know decided months ago that the best way to get rid of Ann Cold-turd (I won't use her real name to prevent her Googling herself to my blog) was to ignore her. I just came out of my room to look around the media a little and it seems to have worked. Haven't seen a single reference to her in a while. You see, your mom was wrong. If you just ignore a problem, it WILL go away. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to ignoring the growth on my neck.

Problems

Some of you might know that I survived a serious hospitalization due to a heart problem about 5 years ago. I am having problems again but think I can overcome them once more. I want to thank everyone who has wished me well. I am going to kick this latest fight in the ass. I am fighting for myself and everybody else with my illness. I am going to kick this but I may be a little absent due to my meds and the "off" feeling I get from them. If I don't post or make a remark that is a little odd, please mark it up to low blood pressure.

I am letting everyone know so that you know that I may be hard to reach me from time to time.

I love you all,

Michael

Nativity

They took down the creepy manger in frint of the building down the street. They are putting down pavers in the yard which isn't very green but at least the other crap is gone. They still have lights on the front of the building but I am hoping they come down next.

Little Miss Sunshine

This is the first and maybe last time I will ever post about a movie. Little Miss Sunshine is the most hilarious and touching movie I have seen in years. Go and see it and you will love it. I am going to see it a second time tomorrow. I haven't done that since Silence of the Lambs.

Sweaty?

On my way home tonight I passed the Aragon and the marquee read, "Miller Temp. 107." Thank you to the folks at Miller for announcing that hell on earth has arrived.

I spent the last few days at the beach but it was pretty brutal. The only way to stay cool was to stay in the water as there was no breeze off the lake at all. Dead calm. This also meant the water was a bit warm. I think this led to a higher than usual level of water born bacteria which in turn led to a higher level of Michael born bacteria. There are dark forces at work in my lower intestinal areas today. Made for a real fun train ride.

I have to take a few movies to the mailbox. It's 2 doors down. Let's hope I don't have a heat stroke on the way.

Attention Nerds

I don't think this is a avery difficult problem but I recently had to wipe my hard rive clean and start anew on my laptop. Since then I have lost the ability to play DVDs on this friggin' thing. Anybody know what software I need to download? I have done some preliminary searches and downloaded a few programs that did not work. Please help. I am too busy/lazy to spend a lot of time on this.

John Stamos is NOT a Beach Boy

The Beach Boys played Ravinia last night and there was a lot of buzz over whether or not Brian Wilson would be joining the group. I was skeptical to say the least but I was totally unprepared for what was to come. John (fuckin') Stamos was front and center for some of the performance. After the "You must be shitting me." reaction, I caught the early train back to the city. If I'd heard Stamos belt out a few of my favs, they'd be ruined forever as the joke the Boys have become. Fuck you, Mike Love!

Break Down

Each day, on my way to work, I walk down the bike path between the train staion and Ravinia park. Today, I came across a man sitting on a bench. I could see a bike lying on the ground not far away. He asked if I had a cell phone and if I could call 911. It was then that I looked down and saw a leg that was obviously broken. I called 911 and an ambulance arrived shortly thereafter. A fire truck came too which seemed odd for a cycling accident but that's not important.

I was thinking later how helpless we both seemed while waiting for an ambulance to arrive. I was asking if there was anything I could do to make him more comfortable and did he want a drink of my water. He said he just wanted to remain still. After a minute, I went and got his bike just so I had something to do other than stand there and stare at the guy. After a few minutes more people using the path started to gather and I felt a little better that I had someone to talk to. I told everyone 911 had been called and that they should give him some space.

I'm No Sherlock Holmes But...

I was taking a walk and developed a theory about the folks who named the streets in Rogers Park. They may have been pranksters. There are two streets that rhyme with names for male and female genitalia; Estes and Lunt. I'll let you figure it out. There is only one street that lies between them, Greenleaf. That is a rather clever coincidence. I am going to see if I can find further evidence in other street names.

Christmas in July

I recently noticed that there is a nativity scene in the yard of a building 2 blocks west of me on Lunt. It is enclosed by plastic and has little Santa lights hanging above it. It is never turned on and moisture builds up on the plastic on hot days. It is exceedingly creepy and the unkempt yard only adds to the effect. Does anyone know who the building owner is? I'd like to ask that they take it down or offer to help them take it down if they are unable.

I know there is an upcoming neighborhood meeting to discuss problem buildings but I have to work and will be unable to attend. If someone could mention this at that meeting, it would be greatly appreciated.

Plastic

I came across a show on VH1 tonight detailing America's obsession with plastic surgery. I've never been a supporter of it except in cases of correcting a deformity or wound but the crap they showed tonight made me feel sick. A woman spent a shitload of money to have her toes shortened so that she could spend a shitload of money on designer shoes that would not come in her size otherwise.

I want to get on a plane and go to this woman's house to slap her in her fake face. The song "Holiday in Cambodia" comes to mind when these issues come up. Why do we feel it acceptable to live luxurious lives and throw money to the wind when others go without? How can I complain about and spend a fortune to correct my nose when there are kids missing their faces in war torn Africa?

I am not a saint. I do not give all my spare income to charity. I actually try and save for my future and my future family but the idea of spending so much on vanity is sickening. Not just on surgery but on homes and cars and other needless excesses. I have nice things but they are quality and will last long enough to justify their price. I don't have diamond encrusted cell phones that will be outdated and out of fashion in 3 weeks.

Not all of these people are moneyed. Some of them put this shit on credit cards or take out loans. What can these folks be thinking when they get a second mortgage for the removal of a second chin?

Throwing money away on vanity is the worst thing we can do as a people. We can help so many by only buying what we need with a few indulgences to reward our hard work and the work of others. We can help so many by living with what we need and helping our communities. Instead of having a mansion that isolates me from the masses who have nothing, why not live in a modest home and help the masses? Noone is going to come asking for things if they already have them.

I know I just came off as a total socialist but I got a ride home from a few immigrant workers that work for me tonight when the train was late. We drove on Sheridan most of the way past row on row of mansions and we had a talk about wealth. We decided that we were happier embracing our friends and families and living humbly than these wealthy folks who have to spend all their time focused on money and status. I was really inspired by them. These are truly great people.

A Good Night

A very busy night at the restaurant tonight. We served over 500 in about 2 1/2 hours. Incredibly busy and everything went great. Lots of compliments from people and we never ran out of anything. I was really inpressed with my kids. They have really turned the corner and understand what we need to do every day. I was really proud of them.

I think I have turned a corner as a leader as well. These kids have taught me a lot about how to lead. They are so green that I need to teach them everything. I have never worked with people who needed so much guidance. There have been some rough moments in the last month or so but I am really starting to feel that they understand me and me them.

I am pushing to get them a little congratulatory BBQ tomorrow as a thank you. We have an early show and will be done by 6. I want them to understand how much I appreciate a busy night done right. I give them cheers every night to encourage them but tonight was exceptional and I really want them to know this is the standard I've been looking for.

Punchy Drunk

I was walking home tonight when I encountered a man dressed like it was winter. I saw him from about half a block away. He was swaying and mumbling. Obviously he was drunk and I could get past him without trouble. As I approached him he looked up and mumbled some unintelligible crap. He took a swing at me that was telegraphed and easily blocked. I knocked him against the fence of the neighboring yard and that's when I realized he was all beat up. I guess I was not the first person he had taken a swing at recently.

After calling 911, the police showed up and asked if I was the one who did this to him. I explained what happened and they were satisfied. An ambulance was called and I went home. I felt kind of bad when I got home for not sticking around to find out what would happen to the guy. I used to have a friend who liked to fight when he drank and this fella reminded me of him a little. I always took care of him and made sure he got home OK. I guess I felt the need to take care of this poor guy too.

Scarred For Life

There is a commercial on TV that I have seen several times and just this morning it struck me that perhaps something was amiss behind the scenes. In the commercial is a little girl with a 2 inch long burn on her face. She goes on to say that if you use this special cream you can reduce scarring. Flash forward 2 weeks and her scar is noticeably diminished.

Here's where I thought to myself, "Are they advertising for kids with burns on their faces to come and audition for these commercials?" I can just picture a stage mom reading the paper and coming across an ad that reads, "Wanted. Adorable children with great acting chops. Must have 2 inch burn mark on left cheek." The mother's eyes widen as she turns and calls to her daughter, "Joanie! Come here sweetie! And bring the curling iron with you!"

They have a similiar commercial for a kid with scraped up knees. "Donnie, do you want skateboard lessons? ", a father asks. "What do you need pads for? Don't be such a pansy." I really hope this is not how these things go down.

iPod PO'd

On my way home from work tonight I realized that my iPod was not in my bag. The zipper was open, which is not unusual as I am often grabbing things I need from my bag throughout the night. I asked the conductor if anyone had found an iPod on the train earlier and he told me they hadn't.

Now, I am totally pissed about the loss as all my music is in it and I need it for the gym and for long commutes. I love to listen to comedy albums on the way to work in the morning as it puts me in a great mood by the time I walk in the door. My conundrum is whether or not to say something at work which may start a big ado about people stealing. I don't know if it was stolen or if I simply mislaid it so I don't want someone to get fired for it. As you may imagine, low paying jobs in the kitchen are often occupied by people with a "history." Many of these fellas are nice guys but got into trouble lifting shit and using cons to make money. I'd hate for them to come under suspicion when they are trying to get their shit together.

Wow! Did I just come off as a huge liberal or what?

What's the Buzz?

I am starting to get settled in my new digs. I have purchased some new furniture and it is starting to feel like home slowly but surely.

The place is a gut rehab which means most everything in the apartment is new. Great appliances, nice finishes, a real nice place. They didn't replace everything however. The buzzer is still from the 70's when the building waqs built. Not a big deal but it got me thinking about something. The buzzer in Laura's and my condo is brand new. Thing is that even though they were made over 30 years apart they both make the same "BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!" sound. In fact, every apartment I have ever lived in has had the exact same buzzer sound. Whoever is in charge of product development down at the buzzer factory is friggin' asleep at the wheel.

Is it possible that some jackass actually thinks this is the ideal sound for door buzzers? The sound is a mating of a duck call and Fran Dresher's caterwauling. The noise makes every dog in my building bark and startles me. Why can't it just sound like a door bell? I mean, if my computer can let me know when I have mail in a pleasant voice, why can't my doorbell at least go "bing-bong" or some shit like that?