Remember the old days when fried stuff was good for you? Good times.
I love fried chicken but rarely eat it on account of I'd like to live past 40 but I get cravings. I make a damn fine fried chicken myself but getting all the stuff ready to cook for just one person is a pain in the ass. It's kind of a big production line and a big mess. Since I read that KFC doesn't use trans-fats any more, I bee-bopped down there to get some vittles*.
I got a three piece dark with mashed and a biscuit. They had just put the chicken down so I had to wait for a while. While I waited I noticed that they have a new size soda. A half gallon. It comes in what looks like a small chicken bucket but with Pepsi written all over it. That's when I noticed the "Nutritional Facts" poster over behind a promotional "standy" for their "Bowl Meals".
On the poster they only list a medium soda which is 14 ounces and has 180 calories. I couldn't even find mention of any other size. Doing some quick math I figured that 64 ounces in a half gallon comes out to be 5.5 times that size and has a whopping 990 calories. Holy shit! Now that's some serious sugar rush. You can almost taste the diabetes.
Since the ad was right there, I decided to look up the Chicken and Biscuit Bowl. It has 870 calories. The calculations I made for my 3 piece meal came out to 1120 calories and enough fat to go over my RDA in one meal.
When my meal finally came I sat and ate it with a Diet Pepsi and read the Onion at my table. I tried to forget what kinds of poison I was shovelling into my face, all the while promising to do a few more crunches at the gym and pedal my bike with a little more gusto.
*That's hillbilly talk for dinner.
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