Overkillary

I like my Sunday morning politics shows. Hillary was on ALL of them. She said the same things on ALL of them. I can't stand her brand of rambling refusal to answer questions directly and ham fisted manipulation of debates to stick only to her talking points. It's irritating and when she laughs off questions it comes off as condescending. She cannot win a general election folks. Let's get it together and get behind an Obama/Biden ticket. Doesn't it bother anyone that all the conservative pundits are treating her as if she already won the nomination? They want to run against her. It's their only hope.

Boston Police

Yesterday an MIT student was arrested for wearing what local police believed was a bomb strapped to her chest. It turned out that the student (an electronics engineering student) had made the shirt as a kind of nerdy joke for the friend she was picking up at the airport. Once I saw the device I asked myself, "How could anyone mistake this for a bomb?" This paired with the Aqua Teen Hunger Force fiasco last year leads me to believe that any time the Boston Police encounter a scrap of an old Atari 2600 the bomb squad will be called out. Good work Boston's finest.

Library Shenanigans

My computer crapped out on me recently so from time to time I have been getting on the interwebs down at the local library. I had no idea that the library was home to the craziest people in Chicago. I have seen and heard some crazy shit in the last week. Here are a few examples:

• Man watching porn on the internet. Apparently the library chooses not to ban such activity due to fears of other types of censorship. Creepy.
• Woman's phone starts ringing. Instead of fumbling for it and turning it off, she freaks out. "Fucking shit! Why these mothafuckas gots to be calling me now? They know I be at the library!", she shouts and then TAKES the call. A long argument with a person I assume is her daughter follows.
• Man approaches me and asks if I can help him with his email. I tried to be a good neighbor and help him but when trying to set up a Gmail account for him he gets all bent out of shape because he doesn't want to give me any information or ask him any questions. He asks librarian for help and he later gets irate and is escorted from the building.
• Porn watcher guy takes bottle of lotion from bag and goes to the bathroom. Extra creepy.
• Mother of four children (at least that's how many she had with her) slaps 3 of them in single 20 minute visit to the library.
• Same crazy woman tries to enter library on 2 consecutive days but is escorted out. Woman pees on the floor of the lobby on second day.

That's all for now but I'll let you know how things progress. I'll probably be there for a while this weekend.

Shocking Revelation

The police totally overreacted to this kid's actions. Having said that, watching this self important spoiled asshole get zapped is satisfying on a a very base level that I am not proud of but can't resist expressing.

Turning My Brain Off

I was thinking about posting about OJ or Barack or Hillary or Craig or Greenspan but I finally just thought, "Fuck it. I'll just put up this stupid little video of the funniest commercial I've seen in years." So here it is:



Enjoy the rest of your day.

This Seems Fishy To Me

Considering all this went down at the same time that his book was being released, something about it seems to be a publicity stunt. Something about that smug look on his face makes me think that something is up.

Bush Is Not Afraid

White House spokeswoman Dana Perino said during the announcement of Bush's new AG nominee that the concerns of whether or not the senate would confirm him bore no weight on his decision. "The president has shown that he is not afraid of any fight," she said. This is such an enormous crock of shit that Bush spent the entire weekend assuring Republicans that he is "conservative enough" in private meetings and calls. Let the hearings begin.

This Is Why I Am For Obama

This man's ability to bring clarity to a given issue that is sensible, non-polarizing and uncomplicated. When he states that the removal of troops will reduce the anymosity towards the US throughout the middle east, he pushes a button in me that noone else does. I have been listening to Bush and the "they hate freedom" argument for years and I just can't take it anymore.

Idiots like Bush and Lieberman who want to keep us in the mid-east to "protect our interests" are setting us up for a war with Iran. Why? Oil and Israel. I know it's unpopular to say but the creation Israel was the single most disastrous and short sighted project the world ever took on. The fact that we backed the creation of a religious state and continue to show unwavering support for it is absolutely un-American.

I guess that second part was a bit of an off topic rant but sometimes a thought gets in there and I have to get it out there.

In Case You Missed It

I thought this was pretty funny especially when you consider that Petraeus turned out to be such a tool. Also, I can't believe that Crocker is in charge of anything. That guy is such a little mousy bitch that there is no way he can be effective. He complained on The News Hour last night that he has had problems creating a sense of urgency. I wonder why? Maybe because he is giant fucking pussy? Could be.

And This Guy Is Running The War

I was stunned by this comment. I interpret his stating "I don't know." as meaning "I can't say what I think without upsetting my chain of command." There is no way that a reasonably intelligent and considerate man could be involved in a war without asking himself this question as it has been the focus of heavy debate for the past 5 years. This man intends to keep us at war for as long as he is asked to without regard for whether or not it is in the best interest for our country. He is being a good soldier but not a good leader. That essentially means that his assessment of the effects of policy in Iraq are meaningless since he has no intent to try and direct policy.

Exactly What I Was Thinking

Note: I took down the embed from the Washington Post cuz it was making my blog all "clicky". You can dind it on their website if you want.

Senator Obama makes me proud with his remarks. His inference that having these hearings on and around 9/11 was intended to drum up more support for the war is dead on. Why don't more people see through this charade.

I am enjoying these debates more than I should but I just love watching Republicans try to make claims of progress look legitimate when it is total bullshit.

Helluva Weekend

I had quite full dance card this weekend with a few surprises. Had a nice time putting up signage for the Boulevard Lakefront Tour on Saturday morning followed by an Obama BBQ in the afternoon. Met some friends at German American Fest in Lincoln Square in the eraly evening and then headed for home after a quick stop at the grocery store. Then the shit hit the fan.

As I was nearing my building between 5 and 7 guys charged out of the alley and started hitting me. I dropped my groceries and did my best to cover up I was kicked repeatedly for what seemed like an eternity but was actually just about a minute. A few people on the street yelled for police and my assailants ran down the El entrance for a quick escape. I imagine they chose the site of the attack because it offered such a convenient escape route.

The police arrived a few minutes later and I gave a description of the one guy I got a good look at. I fully expect that noone will ever be caught and nothing will ever come of this except the bruises on my legs and my swollen jaw. I have a few cuts on my head from hitting the sidewalk.

I spent most of the day on Sunday at Hines VA hospital waiting to have my injuries checked out. My arm hurt so bad that I feared it was broken. Turns out it is not but it still hurts like a sum-bitch.

Who Needs Ambien?

Fred Thompson made an appearance on The Tonight Show this past week and after months of speculation he has decided to put us all to f'n sleep. This guy is a giant sleeping pill. I usually turn on golf when I want to take a nap on Sunday afternoons but now I have another great choice for a sleep aid. Thank you, Fred. Yer the best.

Larry Craig Makes My Dreams Come True

The above I posted mostly for my own entertainment. I can't stop watching it.

Recent reports suggest that Larry Craig is reconsidering his decision to resign from the Senate at the end of the month and may try to overturn his guilty plea and fight his conviction. I could not be happier. What I thought would simply be a week or so of potty jokes may now turn out to provide months of non-stop entertainment. Thank you, Larry. You have given me an early birthday present.

Gay Old Pachiderms

Warner is retiring after this term. Tony Snow, Gonzo and Rover are all resigning. Looks like the GOP has decided to pack it in in many cases and let someone else deal with all this shit. The Rs must be really thankful that the heat of summer is almost behind them.

Fall Political Predictions:

1. Senator Craig will resign before the weekend is out. I guess this is still a summer prediction technically.
2. Reid will start playing ball with Republicans when it comes to troop withdrawal guidelines.
3. Another scandal will soon come to light revealing things about some of the folks who resigned. I say this because after a bunch of folks bailed out at Justice the whole US Attorneys fiasco broke.
4. Fred Thompson will enter the race and go on the offensive against Giuliani. He will drop out in early January and throw his support to Romney.

I am sure I'll be claiming to have misspoke about these in a few months but the chance to gloat if I am right is just too tempting. Besides, this is the internet and I can edit this shit later.

Thompson Gets Into The Race With A Bang

Fred Thompson will announce that he plans to enter the race for the White House today after months of speculation. Unlike many candidates who make their announcements in large public spectacles to the cheers of thousands and receive incredible amounts of free press coverage, Thompson will make his announcement to a few hundred close supporters via a conference call.

I, for one, applaud this ballsy choice to make his announcement. Nothing tells me a candidate is determined and excited about becoming the next president like sitting in a conference room thousands of miles away from him staring at a black box with the mute button on. You can feel the excitement coming down the wire. It also engages the imagination. What is he weraing? Where is he calling from? What's the weather like there? Does he have pants on? Who knows?! He could be playing a game of smiles in a Philipino brothel for all we know. It's all so exciting.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to reserve the third floor conference room for today's announcement.

Gone-zales II - Electric Boogaloo

AP reports today indicate that the Office of the Inspector General (OIG) responded to a request by Patrick Leahy to investigate whether or not Gonzo made misleading or inappropriate statements to congress, Inspector General Glenn A. Fine stated, "The OIG has ongoing investigations that relate to most of the subjects addressed by the attorney general's testimony that you identified."

I am almost certain that the timing of this announcement was such as to allow Fredo a few days to pack his bags and get out of town before the shit hit the fan.

Gone-zales

It apperas that Gonzo finally got sick of being Chuck Schumer's favorite punching bag and decided to quit. I was floored. Halfway through the announcement I expected him to say, "Did I say resign? I'm sorry. I misspoke."

Bush seemed very disappointed in his response to the news. I don't blame him. After standing by his incompetent ass for nearly 6 months of non-stop scandals, I fully would have expected the little bastard to stick around.

There's been a lot of speculation as to who will take over as AG. I hope it's not Chertoff. Although very competent, I'd rather see some altogether new faces over at Justice.

A Conversation With My Friend's Dog That Is Moving To Los Angeles

Me: Who's a good girl? Who's a good girl?

Bianca: Woof!

Me: Who wants a biscuit? Who wants a biscuit?

Bianca: Woof!

Me: You're moving to LA in a few weeks and I am gonna miss you. Yer the best dog I ever get to play with, lady! Yer panting a lot. You want an ice cube, girl?

Bianca: (quizzical look)

Me: OK. Here's an ice cube. That'll cool you off. When you get to Los Angeles, you're gonna need a lot more ice cubes. It's warm there all the time. That's why everybody there is skinny. It's too hot to be fat. Yer gonna have to lose some weight. You can only be fat in LA if you are playing the catcher in a kid's baseball movie or goalie in a hockey movie.

Bianca: (sniffs crotch)

Me: Ya know, like in that movie about the Ducks and the Sand Lot? After that, you gotta get buff and be a C-lister like Jerry O'Conell or pack it in. You can't be doing the truffle shuffle and expect anyone to take you seriously unless you're really skinny.

Bianca: Owwwrrrrr.

Me: Exactly. Do you think Christian Bale would have done any fucking thing after Newsies unless he got really skinny and totally ripped? Hell No! He's got weird teeth and an odd accent.

Bianca: Shut the fuck up.

Me: I want a biscuit.

More On Infrastructure And Shit

Ahem. Rant coming.

G-Bushy and the Republicants (I sometimes spell this with a U) have decided that it is more important to fund the war and not raise taxes than it is to repair the nation's roads and bridges as well as other infrastructure projects. This is a Libertarian like argument and it really pisses me off. They expect that federal projects can build roads and then leave them to the states to maintain. It's such ridiculous bullshit since the division of wealth from state to state is vastly varying. Taxes provide funding for infrastructure projects that create jobs. Estimates say that for every billion that goes into an infrastructure project, 40,000 jobs are created. Why would anyone argue against it? Because we are a nation of children who want everything but want someone else to pay for it. I am not a rich man and I would rather pay more in taxes than have another person die because a levy breaks or another bridge falls.