Friday, September 21, 2007

Library Shenanigans

My computer crapped out on me recently so from time to time I have been getting on the interwebs down at the local library. I had no idea that the library was home to the craziest people in Chicago. I have seen and heard some crazy shit in the last week. Here are a few examples:
  • Man watching porn on the internet. Apparently the library chooses not to ban such activity due to fears of other types of censorship. Creepy.
  • Woman's phone starts ringing. Instead of fumbling for it and turning it off, she freaks out. "Fucking shit! Why these mothafuckas gots to be calling me now? They know I be at the library!", she shouts and then TAKES the call. A long argument with a person I assume is her daughter follows.
  • Man approaches me and asks if I can help him with his email. I tried to be a good neighbor and help him but when trying to set up a Gmail account for him he gets all bent out of shape because he doesn't want to give me any information or ask him any questions. He asks librarian for help and he later gets irate and is escorted from the building.
  • Porn watcher guy takes bottle of lotion from bag and goes to the bathroom. Extra creepy.
  • Mother of four children (at least that's how many she had with her) slaps 3 of them in single 20 minute visit to the library.
  • Same crazy woman tries to enter library on 2 consecutive days but is escorted out. Woman pees on the floor of the lobby on second day.

That's all for now but I'll let you know how things progress. I'll probably be there for a while this weekend.


kroushlconflict said...

I thought it was odd when the librarian first told me to "watch my purse" while I was browsing for books.

But yeah, there's a lot of creeps there.

Beth said...

And I thought my coffee shop was a happenin' place.

Michael K said...

Right now there is an angry fat woman in a helmet standing directly behind me huffing angrily.

Beth said...

Huffing angrily at you, or just in general?

Michael K said...

She is pacing and huffing and sighing. Now she is doing it while waiting to speak to the librarian. She is gonna snap.

thirdworstpoetinthegalaxy said...

Wow. I am *so* checking my e-mail at the library next time.

Thomas Westgard said...

Pretty much every librarian in the world has at least one story about someone, kind of like your guy who went to the bathroom. Only, he at least was willing to go to a room with privacy dividers. Not all of them even do that much.

Evidently, books are even more exciting than we knew.