Monday, June 04, 2007

Salting The Wounds


I had kind of a bad weekend in the debilitating pain department. It started off pretty normal but things turned sour after Saturday morning.

I met some friends out for lunch on Saturday at The Pontiac and we decided to sit outside. It was fairly overcast so the fact that I had no sunscreen on didn't even cross my mind. When we left 3 hours later, I was feeling kind of toasty. By 5 that evening the lobster red had set in and my nose had already started peeling.

The sunburn sucks but I wasn't satisfied with that. I needed some serious deep tissue damage. What better way to do that than hurtling yourself over the handlebars of your bike at high speed and slamming into a fucking oak tree? I can't think of a better way so that's what I did while trying to avoid a car that cut me off when they pulled into the bike lane directly in front of me. I think I cracked a rib or two; my left forearm feels like its broken and my shoulder is so black and blue that it looks necrotic. Throw in some really nice scratches and knuckle abrasions and you can just imagine how attractive I look and feel today.

But wait! I'm still not finished punishing myself. I have a 4 hour dentist appointment this afternoon. That's right! 4 fucking hours of pure bliss. I am thrilled.

Finally, I got an email this morning from my boss letting me know that I am being rewarded for my team's great performance by being sent to this. Fuck.

10 comments:

Winter said...

I sorry, but I did laugh.

Michael K said...

At least I have the pleasure of knowing some joy came from my pain. Everybody at work made fun of my moaning and limping this morning.

I just got back from my dentist and I have the worst headache ever AND they charged me $450 for the beating they gave me. I'm making a PB&J and climbing into bed. I need some comfort.

anne altman said...

oooh. retreat or root canal?

i say death.

Winter said...

If it helps any, the second time I just read it now, I laughed even harder.

(See how comforting I can be..)

Don Mac Gregor said...

Our rugby club needs another forward this weekend. You interested? :)

thirdworstpoetinthegalaxy said...

Ouch! Very sorry to hear about all of this -- particularly the seminar.

Hope you feel better soon... are you going to have X-Rays done? Did the driver stop?

All cold comfort considering the injuries, I'm sure. Rest easy.

Natalie said...

That is one of the worst series of events i have heard of in some time. I hope you are feeling better soon.

Michael K said...

Thanks for the kind words. I am feeling a lot better today. The ribs are still a problem but the rest of me is healing nicely. The bruise looks a lot worse than it feels; my farmer sunburn is slowly turning into a farmer tan and the scrape on wrist has scabbed over enough that I can wear my watch again without it getting irritated.

Craig Gernhardt said...

Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.

Michael K said...

Thanks. Craig. Yer a sweetheart as always.