Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Fear and Hatred in Milwaukee


Since coming to Milwaukee I have discovered a that there is a long standing feud between the citizens of Cream City and The Hog Butcher for the World. The problem is that nobody bothered to tell people in Chicago.

They fucking hate Chicago here. They blame us for everything from pollution to stealing all their talented young people and crowding their lakes with tourists. I was yelled at in the Pick-and-Save the other day while wearing my Cubs hat. A fella told me, "The fucking Cubs suck!" He had his kids with him. He was passing the hate down to another generation right there in the produce department. I imagined them eating apples later at a Klan rally and complaining that they were picked by a bunch of filthy Chicagoans.

While riding my bike the other day (again with my Cubs hat on) a guy in a truck pulled alongside me and yelled, "Where's your training wheels, pansy? Go back to Illinois!" it was right around the time you'd expect someone to get off work from the brewery so he was probably drunk but that hardly excuses his behavior.

I can't wait to get back to Chi-town and go back to ignoring Milwaukee and treating Wisconsin like Canada.

7 comments:

Beth said...

I never realized you Chicagoans were such pansied meanies. May I blame my broken little toe on y'all?

Chris B. said...

They don't usually attack unless they're threatened, so they must have thought you recruiting more of their smart people. (Or maybe you were muttering anti-cheese sentiments and not realizing it.)

twestgard said...

There comes a time when a population can't drink any more beer unless they have enough anger and resentment to fuel their continued efforts.

Michael K said...

Thomas,

Why am I not allowed into your blog?

Grant Miller said...

I say those same things to Cub fans.

twestgard said...

I just took it down for a few days. Nothing personal; everyone was equally locked out.

thirdworstpoetinthegalaxy said...

When you return to the city of broad shoulders, what will be your first act as a renewed Chicagoan?