You're Probably Gonna Want To Bump Your Head Real Hard Before Showtime

Comedian Demtri Martin once said, "I think the best part about being stupid is that it makes magic way better." Retards are gonna LOVE this show.

The Times (And Climate) Are A Changin'

I went to the hospital today to meet my new niece. She is beautiful and I am very proud of Melissa and Steven. Steven does have an awkward way of holding the little lady that makes me nervous to watch. I know he'd never drop her but... It just makes me nervous. Melissa is a natural though so I am sure he'll pick up on the tricks of the trade.

I rode my bike back home and when I got to the intersection at Diversey and Western, I had to stop for what seemed like an eternity because of traffic. That's when I saw some folks with sandwich boards and fliers. One of them was heading my way. There is an abortion clinic at that intersection and I thought to myself, "Please, do not let one of these people show me a picture of a dead baby after just seeing a brand new life." Thankfully, they spared me that.

Instead, they tried to give me a pamphlet calling global warming a hoax and that Al Gore and his cronies are part of a massive conspiracy to benefit Democrats and that this science insulted god somehow. Now I wanted to tell them, "That's an abortion clinic over there, ya know?"

I am so sick of people arguing for or against global warming. Even if you're one of those folks who thinks it is a hoax (I call them nut-jobs), you still know that we are damaging our planet. I mean, these people were standing in the middle of Western Ave. . There had to be a few times today when they held their breath when a cloud of exhaust fumes got in their face. Why would anyone try to stop a movement that will improve our environment and enhance our quality of life? Fucking retards.