Monday, June 23, 2008

The Creepy Guy At The Gym

Dear Creepy Guy,

Just wanted to let you know that I REALLY don't need a spot. Seriously, I got it. If I need help I'll let you know. Actually, I won't. I'll let someone else know because you are totally creeping me out. You've asked me like 20 times and the only people who would do such a thing are stalkers and Super Christians and I don't have room for either in my life right now.

Also, if you could cut the chit-chat in the locker room, I'd really appreciate it. I do not like talking to other guys when I'm naked. Don't stand around waiting for me to take my head phones off either. That is not some sort of signal. I just can't change my shirt with my iPod on.

Another locker room issue I have is that you apparently don't realize that you can pass me by stepping to the other side of the bench. No need to brush by in your towel. If you do it again, I might freak out a little. Actually, I might freak out a lot.

Finally, eat a fucking Certs or something. You got salami breath real bad.

Michael K