Cheney Shafts Scooter Again

When Scooter Libby's trial lawyer chose to read a letter calling for leniency in his clients sentencing, he might have considered the author first. Considering recent events, a letter from Paul Wolfowitz that endorses your good character is maybe not such a good choice. Maybe he should have read the letter from Rumsfeld? I am sure that was a real tear jerker. Henry "Love Machine" Kissinger also authored a letter on his behalf. The cynic in me says that this is just the thank you he gets for taking one for the team.

They released over 150 letters of support after the sentencing yesterday. That might be a little surprising but the biggest shocker is that the boss he took a dive for didn't bother to send a letter from his office to supprt him. Dick Cheney has done nothing to make me think he is a nice guy but this is a huge snub from an administration that prides itself so much on rewarding loyalty. If I were Scooter, I'd get on the phone with Fitzgerald and start spilling the beans on that son of a bitch right now looking for a reduced sentence. If he thought the Veep's office fucked him hard just wait til the boys on the cell block find out there's a guy named Scooter around.

Salting The Wounds

I had kind of a bad weekend in the debilitating pain department. It started off pretty normal but things turned sour after Saturday morning.

I met some friends out for lunch on Saturday at The Pontiac and we decided to sit outside. It was fairly overcast so the fact that I had no sunscreen on didn't even cross my mind. When we left 3 hours later, I was feeling kind of toasty. By 5 that evening the lobster red had set in and my nose had already started peeling.

The sunburn sucks but I wasn't satisfied with that. I needed some serious deep tissue damage. What better way to do that than hurtling yourself over the handlebars of your bike at high speed and slamming into a fucking oak tree? I can't think of a better way so that's what I did while trying to avoid a car that cut me off when they pulled into the bike lane directly in front of me. I think I cracked a rib or two; my left forearm feels like its broken and my shoulder is so black and blue that it looks necrotic. Throw in some really nice scratches and knuckle abrasions and you can just imagine how attractive I look and feel today.

But wait! I'm still not finished punishing myself. I have a 4 hour dentist appointment this afternoon. That's right! 4 fucking hours of pure bliss. I am thrilled.

Finally, I got an email this morning from my boss letting me know that I am being rewarded for my team's great performance by being sent to this. Fuck.

Enough With The Bugs Already

A transcript from ABC News:

Charlie: Well, Diane it appears that another 17 years have gone by and the cicadas are emerging from the ground once again in swarms across the mid-west.

Diane: That's right, Charlie and what better way to celebrate the occasion than by chowing down on some of those bad boys!

Charlie: What a fabulous idea. How do you like yours prepared?

Diane: Oh, no! I'm not eating that shit but I bet we can find a few struggling newbies to gulp down a bunch of those fucks.

Charlie: You are so right. Let's go now to the poor bastard in Illinois we found to tell everybody they taste like chicken or asparagus or some shit like that.

Well, maybe it didn't go exactly like that on camera but behind the scenes I'm pretty sure that's how it went down.



Let's get back to some real news now. OK?

Something Fishy

I got home yesterday to find this sticker on my front door: I was a little skeptical of this statement especially considering the source (PETA) so I decided to do a little research and here are my findings:

Supporting Evidence:

• None

Contrary Evidence:

• Where were the fish when I needed help moving? Under water somewhere.
• Fish are delicious.
• Fish are full of omega 3 fatty acids.
• Fish eat other fish. They are even food for themselves!

Conclusions:

• Fish make really shitty friends.
• Fish are not only food but really good food.
• Dirty hippies love stickers.

All Hail The Secret!!!

I was reading the latest copy of The Nation on my way to work today (no, I'm not a communist) and there was an article about the most innovative self improvement book since How to Make Friends and Influence People; The Secret.

For those of you who don't know what the secret is, here's a brief synopsis. If you imagine something to be true hard enough, it will become fact. If I focus very hard on (I wrote "hard on") making gobs* of money, I will make gobs of money. That makes perfect sense doesn't it? The Secret's infallible logic will set you free and make all your dreams come true.

Most of you know all the basic stuff about The Secret because Oprah loves it. What you might not know is that The Secret also brings back the best parts of the EST (which evolved into the present Landmark Education) movement that made everybody perfect in the 70's and early 80's. What parts are those you ask? No matter what someone tells you about The Secret you should not pay attention to them. Got a skeptical spouse? Leave him/her because they are just an anchor around your neck. Your dreams aren't coming true? It's because there is something wrong with you. You aren't trying hard enough. You aren't positive enough. You don't believe enough.

What about all the bad stuff that happens to people all over the world? They haven't gotten The Secret yet. Katrina? No Secret. Tsunami? No secret. Little girl in Florida buried alive by a sex predator? Looks like someone didn't learn her Secret very well.

So keep smiling, America! You are truly wonderful beautiful people.**

*1 gob = $1 zillion
** So long as you have The Secret.

Jump Shot

A friend of mine at work came in this morning with a nasty scratch under his eye. He explained that he had gotten it playing basketball in Emmerson Park last night. The scratch led to a little pushing when one of the guys on his team got involved. Apparently, there were pre-existing tensions between other players that he and his friend were not aware of when they joined the game. A large fight broke out that went on for close to half an hour. My coworker and his pal had distanced themselves from the brawl. In the end, a gun was drawn and all involved dispersed into the neighborhood.

My co-worker and his friend were the only people remaining when the police finally showed up. He told his story and gave descriptions as best he could. The police accused my buddy of starting it since he had a cut under his eye. After a while they left rather disgusted by the police response.

Considering the "Don't Snitch" policy of many of the residents of this neighborhood, you'd think the police would be very happy to have a couple of guys that were willing to talk to them.

Allow Me To Be Fully Candid

From the AP: The Justice Department's former White House liaison denied Wednesday that she played a major role in the firings of U.S. attorneys last year and blamed Deputy Attorney General Paul McNulty for misleading Congress about the dismissals.

McNulty's explanation, on Feb. 6, "was incomplete or inaccurate in a number of respects," Monica Goodling told a packed House Judiciary Committee inquiry into the firings.

She added: "I believe the deputy was not fully candid."

Can we stop using terms like "not fully candid", "misleading statements" and "incomplete or inaccurate"? These motherfuckers are lying. McNulrty lied to congress. He committed purjury. Alberto Gonzales also lied to congress. He committed purjury. Why do people lie to congress? Because they probably did something illegal that they cannot recall. What is it? We may never know because they keep lying and for some reason we have yet to call them on it.

I am hoping that Godling dishes with the facts at some point since she has been given some protection from prosecution in exchange for her testimony. I am hoping but I kind of doubt it.

Also, when will Washington learn that having girls named Monica involved in politics is a recipe for disaster?

There's No Such A Thing As A Free Meal

I went out last week with a few people from work for dinner. I don't go out much as I am trying to save money so that I can buy a condo again next year. I hate renting.

Anyways, we were out and I ordered a few things and I think I spent way too much money considering the strict budget I have put myself on. I spent as much on myself as you would expect to pay for 3 people in an average restaurant. The food was fantastic but I felt guilty for the indulgence later.

I was going over my account on line today and realized that the charge for my dinner has yet to post to my account. I would expect a few days delay over a weekend but it's been over a week and still nothing. I called my friends and asked if they had been charged with my tab. They said no but that their bills had posted to their accounts. One person even uses the same bank I do.

I feel kind of guilty getting something for nothing even if I know the place we went to makes money hand over fist but still. I always worry that some poor waiter got stiffed cuz they fucked up the paperwork or that somebody else was charged for my meal. So even though I am making out at the bank, I am paying with my conscience. Stupid conscience.

Newt-ered Logic

A newt is a slimy little creature that secretes toxins from its skin. Newt Gingrich is a slimy little creature who secretes bullshit from his mouth. On Meet the Press today he repeatedly tried to make direct comparisons between the Iraq War and the American Revolution. If you'd like to watch this total load of shit check it out here.

Beautiful

Some beautiful noise for your weekend. Lay in the sun and smile while you enjoy the musical comforts of Blonde Redhead.

Wolfo-quitz

Bye-bye, Paulie. It was nice beating up on you but now you have to go. How is it that I have not found time to blog about your sorry ass more often? I mean, you were a grossly incompetent manager. Hell, in the Washington Post's article today, a friend of yours acknowledged that you were a smart guy but that you, "Couldn't run a 2 car funeral." That's your buddy saying that. You must have been a really serious fuck up and I missed out on some great blogging opportunites. Oh well. C'est la vie.

Maybe the reason I overlooked such a golden opportunity is that I spent too much time focusing on yer buddy over at the DoJ. He's way more inept at his job than you are. That is if you believe that he was hired to run the Justice Department in a fair and balanced matter and not to politicize the office to the point that it is a mockery. If you believe he was appointed to be a toadie for the White House, then he is doing a great job.

The real smack in the nuts is that this guy isn't going anywhere. If the Bush administration thought they had problems with Gonzo running things, just let Chuck Shumer and company decide who gets the office next. You think the Senate Judiciary Committee is putting the screws to the administration now? Just let Alberto resign and see what happens. Even if a special prosecutor is assigned to bring criminal charges against him, they'll keep the case in the courts til Bush's term ends.

Potluck Day

It's potluck day today at work. It's a day to get together and break bread with your coworkers. A day to get to know the folks in distant cubicles. A day to lie about how much you like Janine's potato salad and that Steve's corn dog bites aren't dry and hard at all. But most of all it is a day to let your hair down and tell stories about your boyfriend passing out drunk with his pants down and sporting a woody.

You see, there is a girl here who can't seem to stop saying and doing inappropriate things around the office. Since I have been here, she has had several mishaps. Here is a short list:

• Got wasted at last company get together and decided it would be funny to grab everybody's asses.
• Threw up outside above event on a very crowded street.
• Accidentally sent an email to everyone in the department asking if she could borrow a tampon.
• A picture of her flashing some guy at a bar was circulated throughout the office.
• Called a client with the name Bonner "Mr. Boner" repeatedly until he corrected her on the pronunciation.

I am not a person who is offended by any of this but I feel bad for her cuz she is never going to get promoted as long as she is at this company. Poor girl.

Link Buddies

A while back a person at another blog (you know who you are) offered to link to anyone who linked to him. I have since seen it on a few other blogs and think it is a good way to network with people. If anyone wants me to link to their blog just do the same for me and leave a comment. Then we'll be BFF.*



*BFF sounds dirty.

Alberto Gonzales Thinks He Is A Ninja

The Attorney General is at it again. The most recent line of shit? McNulty did it. That's right, the guy who resigned yesterday for reasons that have nothing to do with the firings of 8 US Attorneys and the resulting political fallout, is the one to blame for the poor handling of the firings. Also, the announcement of McNulty being at fault coming the day after he announced his resignation is pure coincidence.

The only possible explanation for Alberto to think the American people would believe this latest insult to our collective intelligence is simple. He thinks he's a ninja. He believes he can just throw down a smoke bomb and disappear before he gets skewered by Arlen Spectre and Chuck Leahy.

Watch out for those throwing stars on CSPAN during the next Judiciary Committee meeting on the subject.

Iced Espresso Shakes

I had to run a few errands before I went to the gym yesterday and decided to grab a little treat for myself. I thought, "Hey you're going to the gym to work it off. What's the big fuckin' deal?" So I go to Panera (I know it's lame but it was right there) and I get my self this espresso ice cream shake thingy. Drink in hand I head on out to finish my errands.

I have been laying off the caffeine lately so by the time I got to the gym I was feeling a little edgy. Actually, I was feeling like a meth addict. I worked out for about an hour but was still feeling energetic by the time I got to my usual stopping point. I decided to keep going. A half hour on the bike, another chest and shoulder press exercise. Why not hit the lat machine again?

It was at this point that I started to recall a story a friend of mine tells about doing a bunch of coke in high school and then doing arm curls in his room for hours trying to work it out of his system. He describes his inability to put down his atrophied arms in the morning as "looking like a T-Rex." I decide I better give it up for the day.

I walked home from Lakeview to Logan Square, cleaned my house, went grocery shopping, did laundry and finally started to feel normal at about half way through 60 Minutes. I was really glad because listening to Andy Rooney while tweekin' is probably dangerous. Seriously, my head would friggin' explode.

The Grant Miller Interview

The Benevolent and Honourable Site Master at Grant Miller Media
has seen fit to interview yours truly. After recently accusing him of plagiarism, I was a little concerned with how it would go. Thankfully, he didn't put the screws to me too hard.

GM: You lived/worked in DeKalb and seem to know many the same people I know
from there. But I'm unsure we've ever met in real life. Have we and I'm
just an asshole for forgetting?

MoF: We have probably met but I was a bartender at the Annex and there is a good chance that one or both of us were drunk at the time. Your pic looks vaguely familiar but boozin' don't make for good face recognizin'.

GM: You once commented that your dad was a drummer. If so, did he still want
to work? Or did he prefer just banging on the drum all day?

MoF: Aside from banging on his drums, my dad worked on growing his hair and
moustache. I have often described my dad as looking just like Derek Smalls from Spinal Tap. He also did a lot of laundry for his six filthy kids.

GM: Your TV has only two channels. One channel is all politics all the time.
The other is just cooking shows. What do you do?

MoF: I am a sales manager (yeah, I know it's boring). I used to cook at a
fancy ass resturant but after I got divorced I realized that I was not
going to build any mansions on a chef's salary. I headed back to the
office to avoid living in a refrigerator box in the alley. Of course, it
would be a Sub Zero box and the alley would be behind Bloomingdale's. I
got standards.

GM: You live in Chicago. Is Chicago a great city or the greatest city and
why?

MoF: I like to think it is the greatest city because I am vain and refuse to
believe my choice to live here could be anything but pure genious. When
the wind comes clipping off the lake in the middle of January I question my judgement a little. Then I get home and chow on some hot pierogi I bought from the Polish market up the street from me and everything is all better.

GM: Why should people read your blog?

MoF: Because work is boring and sometimes I am not. Also, I never post pictures of kittens or hamsters and dumb shit like that. Take that www.hamstersphoto.com! You suck!

If you would like to be interviewed by me, let me know

Mother's Day Matters

An inner argument between myself and my cynical prick self.

Me: What should we get mom for Mother's Day? Flowers? Chocolates? A spa day?

Cynical Prick Me: Ugh! Do we have to go through this every year? Mother's Day is a Hallmark holiday. It's a marketing ploy.

Me: But it's a great day to honor our moms and all the sacrifices they made to raise us.

CPM: Sacrifices? Maybe if that woman would have sacrificed 50 cents for a condom every once in a while she wouldn't have squeezed out more kids than they could afford to raise and we could have gone to college without joining the military.

Me: That's pretty harsh. She worked hard to try and make our house a home. She tried to guide us and teach us as best she could under the circumstances.

CPM: Under the circumstances... More like "under the influence." I guess she did a pretty good job when she wasn't high or drunk.

Me: She was a young mother who was married to a musician. She made mistakes and has done a lot since to make up for it.

CPM: Whatever. I am sick of arguing. What do you want to get her?

Me: Let's send a Visa gift card so she can use it on whatever she wants.

CPM: Fine. But it's not going be more than $50 and I get to write something smart assed on the card.

Me: Deal.

ChapStink

My lips are all dried out from the wind due to all the cycling I have been doing lately and I left my Carmex at home. I went down to the little store we have in our lobby and bought some chapstick. I thought it was just plain but when I got back to my ofice and opened it up I realized it is vanilla scent. STRONG vanilla scented. Now everything I eat tastes like cookies. Stupid ChapStick.

Hasseling The Hoff

A lot of people have been giving David Hasselhoff a hard time lately because of a video leaked by his estranged wife showing him lying on the floor trying to eat a sandwich and doing a bad job of it. I feel kind of bad for the guy. This is a personal and private matter that is really noone's business. This tape wasn't meant to be public domain. He should not feel embarassed by it.

He SHOULD feel embarassed by this one:

That is infinitely worse.

The Queen is Fed

GW: We are going to have one hell of a shindig in your honor tonight, Your Highness.

Liz: But Mr. President, shouldn't you be talking to the generals after one of the bloodiest weekends yet in Iraq?

GW: Nah. You see we got this surge goin' over there and I just know that because I decided to do it, it will work. I got a personal relationship with the Lord and he talks through... uh... I mean to me.

Liz: Really there's no need to make such a fuss over me.

GW: Look, Queenie, any time an irrelevant figurehead monarch comes to town, I feel obligated to drop a few mil of taxpayer's money on a gala white tie dinner. Ya got me? It's no problem whatsoever. Now tell me, how'd ya like the horsey races?

Liz: I was very distracted and saddened by the news reports of the terrible storms that tore through Kansas. Don't you think you should be on the phone making sure FEMA doesn't turn this into another terrible gaff like New Orleans?

GW: Never happen. These are white people we're talkin' about. White Kansans. These people still think I am doin' a bang up job in Iraq. Things get rough, I go down there make a little speech. Culture of life this. Terry Schiavo that. Support the troops! That place is like one big yellow ribbon magnet.

Liz: Right, right. I've got a similar arrangement with doll collecting suburban American women.

GW: Let's party.

What's Cookin' Volume 3

The Look: I am pretty sure that this is Lidia's home kitchen or someone in her family. It is pretty tight in there and not at all what you'd expect from a set. The fact that she has her family on all the time (especially the kids) and they seem really comfortable and know where everything is adds to that assumption.

The Cast: Lidia is the main character but she is often joined by her almost impossibly old mother, Erminia, who speaks little English and adds to that rich Italian family experience. Her son, Joe, comes on quite a bit as a wine expert and her daughter Tanya who assists when they travel to Italy and need to add a few history lessons. Her daughter-in-law, Deanna and her kids also help out around the kitchen.

Lidia herself is a cooking powerhouse. Unlike a few other female cooking show hosts, Lidia is definitely not on TV because of her looks. Although she is incredibly charming, one look at this balding, bear pawed grandmother and you know she is there to take care of business. I imagine her whacking Joe with a spoon when he fucks up.

What's Cookin': It's hardcore Italian/Italian-American. This lady makes everything from every region. Her heaviest influences seem to come from Emilia Romagna but she also loves Rome and has done a few shows that focus on Puglia where her family vacations quite frequently.

She uses bold flavors although she pushes Grana Padano (I think you might as well be grating wax on your food) a lot more than I'd like as they are a sponsor of the show. Her food is rich but well balanced and she knows how to use a fresh element of the cooked element to introduce multiple levels to dishes.

The food is very approachable and Lidia makes me happy cuz she don't measure a friggin' thing.

Problems With The Show: Lidia's biggest crutch is that she uses the food processor a lot. I don't own a food processor as I am one of those people who think if you want it done right you do it by hand. I assume that a lot of folks out in TV land don't have one either. Not because they are food snobs like me but rather because those things are friggin' expensive. I'd rather she and many other cooks showed people how to do things by hand.

Why I Watch: When I watch the show, I see the motherly cooking mentor I never had. My mom can't cook for shit and my dad only cooked on the weekends and didn't let anyone in the kitchen while he was at it.

George Tenet Hates History

So Tenet was on Meet The Press this morning and I thought he came off a lot less convincing than he was on 60 minutes last week. I am wavering on how complicit he was in developing a false case for the war in Iraq. Today, instead of coming off as an indignant man claiming to be scapegoated, he sounded more like he was trying to claim that everyone did their jobs but things just didn't come together the way they would have liked. He even went back to the old GOP stance that Clinton's administration knew about a lot of this stuff too. I worry that when all is said and done, even if he is telling the truth in his book, his credibility is for shit and therefor history will not be served well by it. Poor history.

What's Cookin' Volume 2

The Look: The set looks like someone's house but It is hard to tell if it is a real house or a convincing replica. It is French country design which is appropriate considering the host. Maybe it's Jacques' house. What do I know about it? I'm not a set designer. I'm just some dumb-ass Pollack in Chicago.

The Cast: Most of the time it's just Jacques but every once in a while he has an old chef buddy on the show and they poke fun at each other and tell inside jokes that they sometimes explain but not always. Somehow this makes the show more appealing.

Jacques has been around for something like a hundred years and has authored more books than Stephen King. That's serious clout. Also, he's French and (say what you will about the French) those fuckers can cook. They don't call the accepted rules for cooking "French Technique" for nothing.

What's Cookin': There's a lot of French influence in most of the recipes but Jacques has lived and worked in the US for a long time. He knows his audience so he makes recipes geared towards Americans. Also, he worked with Julia Child on books and TV shows and some of her tendency to thumb her nose at tradition in favor of convenience and tricks of the trade gained from years of cooking has rubbed off.

Though Julia's influence is apparent, he generally makes his dishes a bit healthier than she did. When he does put a big wad of butter in the pan he usually justifies it pretty well using the "all things in moderation" defense.

Problems With The Show: It's called "Fast Food My Way" and when Jacques cooks the dishes it does go pretty quick. A home cook needs to allow for a lot more prep time. When you work in a commercial kitchen for years, you get very fast at chopping, dicing and know how to multi-task in the kitchen without the wheels coming off the bus.

Also, less experienced cooks might get flustered by the fact that Jacques rarely measures anything. He (like many experienced cooks) does a lot of guestimating and uses measurements like "a handful" and "however many you like". At least he doesn't use the metric system. You can get written recipes on the show's website.

Why I Watch: He's a living legend of the culinary world. He won the James Beard lifetime achievement award in '05 for fuck's sake! Did YOU win a James Beard award recently? No, you didn't. So go get your knives and start chopping your mirepoix, rookie.

If You're Retarded, Please Raise Your Hand

This is the reason I will never vote for a Republican president. What a bunch of dipshits. Don't even get me started on the Roe v Wade question. Ugh!

What's Cookin' Vol. 1

I know I go on about politics quite a bit but when I'm not watching McLaughlin or Tim Russert, you can usually find me watching cooking shows. I also used to cook in a 4 star restaurant. As such, I consider myself a bit of an expert and decided I would critique some of the best and worst of the lot. Here goes...



The Look: Everyday Food is a PBS show that got its start a couple years ago on a simple/commercial kitchen set with the cast wearing different brightly colored sweaters. The production quality got a lot better this past year which would indicate to me that once the show got some traction they started sinking more loot into it. Now they film on a set that looks more like somebody's fancy ass house.

The Cast: The show has 5 hosts that share the spotlight. They are Lucinda Scala Quinn, Margot Olshan, Sarah Carey, John Barricelli and last (but most certainly not least) Allie Lewis.


I guess you could say I've got kind of a thing for Allie. I think that they are putting a little too much make up on the ladies since they gussied up the show but other than that she is pretty easy on the eyes.

The cast all work for Martha Stewart's magazine of the same name so they actually know how to cook quite well.

What's Cooking: The cast takes turns making meals that most people can produce in a short amount of time or with the least amount of trouble and simple techniques for the home cook. They try to and do a good job of using influences from lots of different cuisines. I have seen everything from Indian food to Thai to Russian. All made to be very accessible to home cooks.

Problems With The Show: It's a Martha Stewart production which has a couple of set backs. Everything looks a little too perfect and has that Martha feel that turns some people off. Also, it means that there's a whole lot of measuring going on. More experienced cooks (myself included) don't like measuring things or timers and shit like that. We season to taste and cook it until it's done.

Why I watch: Although I don't take to all the measuring to well, I get some good ideas for recipes from the show. Also, pretty girls in Aprons are hot.

The Other Stamp

Watching Bush try to justify his veto and blame it all on partisan politics is such bullshit. He says, "It makes no sense to tell your enemy when you plan on withdrawing." We want to tell the Iraqis when we plan on withdrawing so they can get their shit together, asshole.

He says, "Setting a date for withdrawal is setting a date for failure and that would be irresponsible." He set a date for failure the day his administration chose to completely destroy the Iraqi infrastructure and through de-Baathification prevented the people who actually knew how to run shit from running shit. Talk about irresponsible. We didn't even try that shit with Nazi Germany. We understood that people belonged to the party because not to do so would be stupid.

He accused the Dems of putting in a lot of pork in the bill. This fucker has vetoed 2 bills his entire time as president and NOW he decides that he is against pork. Total bullshit!

Then he lied blatantly about the violence (sectarian) dying down and that it is all Al Qaeda doing the killing but not Iraqis who want us to get the fuck out. So even though violence is way up he is making claims that it is way down. I have never heard such utter crap. Bush, we do not believe that Al Qaeda and Iraq had anything to do with each other until you fought to take us to a war under false pretenses and then destroyed the country's ability to manage itself.

I am so fucking sick of this shit. Politically this is gold for my team but politicizing a war is always bad news. The Rs are going down if they stick to their guns on this and they're gonna figure that out real soon. I wish they would come to their senses and start bringing our boys home.

If it was his intention to piss off just about everybody... Mission Accomplished.

George Tenet is Pissed Off

Watching 60 Minutes tonight I realized that George may have been biting his lip for a long time to protect ongoing investigations and probably bullshitted his way through a few committee hearings but I don't think he was happy about it. He is far from blameless in creating an environment in which a case for war in Iraq could have been made but I think that he finally is telling the truth in many cases about what actually went on and what his role was in the worst military mistake in recent history.

Looks like Condi was the most complicit in this charade so far but she is such a tool that we will never hear her side of the story. She and Cheney might as well be the same person. They continually reiterate the same lies as talking points that they spouted before all this got started. I have heard both of them insist Saddam had WMDs as recently as this year. How the fuck can they continue with that sort of talk? Sooo angry. HULK SMASH!

Back to George. He was so mad that he was squirming in his chair like he hadn't peed in a week. I thought he was gonna wrassle with Scott. His passion behind his statements convinced me that he was scapegoated and that Perle was the fuck who really orchestrated a lot of this shit. Frontline made similar assertions in a program focusing on Tenet a few years ago.

Also on the show was the biggest mind blowing anti common sense argument for not keeping guns out of the hands of the mentally ill that I have ever heard. Makes me want to buy a gun. Proly a bad idea.

No Surprises

Watched the debates last night. Lots of candidates means you really can't get at the substance of each candidate in the time alotted. The one thing that came across loud and clear is that Mike Gravel is a surly old man who might want to have his blood pressure checked. I thought he was gonna start slapping people.



Aside from Mike nearly having a melt down, there wasn't really much in the way of a debate. Everyone really seemed to agree on most issues aside from Dennis "The Impeacher" Kucinich. He is often right about issues but comes off as a little cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs sometimes.

Joe Biden Brought the funny with his one word response.



Finally, I think I might have a crush on Dennis' wife Elizabeth. When I first saw them together I though it was his daughter. That fella robbed the cradle propah.

Greatest Shits

Someone please remind me never to shake Sheryl Crow's hand. After her one square of TP remark, I was a little baffled. I don't know if her bowel movements are made of stone or if she has some sort of retractable anus that works like an ovapositor or something but I have to do a little scrubbing down there after I do my business. I'd like to take a shower after I make with the #2 but that's just not always an option and probably not so smart when it comes to water conservation. If I use just one square of paper, I am probably gonna need a whole mees of paper towels to get my hands clean. I apologize in advance for the horrible mental pictures this might have caused.

Dumb, Dumb, Dumb, Dumb Ass Remark

John McCain has gotten himself in trouble by saying stupid things before and this is certainly not the worst. He was asked a question that was rather disturbing and tried to be light hearted and funny. The question that he was asked by a person who seemed to want us to nuke Iran was something like, "When do we send 'em an airmail message to Tehran?" His Beach Boys reference might not have been such a fucking bomb if we weren't bogged down in Iraq right now.



The thing that really bothers me about this and other comments (ala Ann Coulter) is that when they are uttered in front of a conservative audience. People seem to think it's hilarious. I guess I've been living in my blue city/state for too long.

My message to John is simple. Stay away from war jokes and don't say "gooks" anymore. Maybe you'll get the VP bid from your party. Also, don't blow your nose on stage. That's gross.

Gonzales Gets Grilled Updated

Arlen Specter nearly bit Alberto's head off this morning. You do not go in front of the Senate and make smug comments about always being prepared when the reason you're there is because you are a fuck-up.

I expected Arlen Specter to hand Alberto his ass today. I expected Chuck Shumer to shit hammer him. Leahy? Oh, yeah. He has been preparing for this for weeks. But Coburn, Grassley, and Lindsey fucking Graham? I have seen Graham defend some seriously fucked up shit to save Bush's ass and I figured he'd do the same here but I couldn't have been more wrong. He even seemed to be enjoying himself while he handed Gonzo his ass.

I think that the AG is going to keep his job because he went out there today and took the heat for the White House. The only good thing I have ever been able to say about the Bush administration is that they are intensely loyal. Loyal to a fault to be certain but I've always respected loyalty. He got ass reamed so that Karl Rove doesn't have to and I think that Bush will reward that. Unless he resigns on his own, I don't think Bush will ask for it. Maybe that is why the Republican senators were so vicious today. Could be, though it is probably because they deeply resented the idea of using a loophole in the Patriot Act to bypass confirmation hearings.

A special shout out to the guy in the audience who was keeping tally of the number of times "Fredo" said, "I don't recall." At last count it was well over 70 times.

Don't Hurt Me Hammer

I am getting a day off from work tomorrow. Sort of. I (along with a number of other folks from work) am heading down to the Back of the Yards hood to volunteer for Habitat For Humanity. It's a great organization and I am thrilled to be associated with it. I plan on volunteering again on my own next month. Jimmy Carter rules!

Career Builder allows me 3 paid days off a year to do charitable work. We are also sponsoring a town to support The Millennium Project to end hunger in our lifetime. It makes me proud to work for a company that is so dedicated to giving back to the community. I even got to shake hands with Jeffrey Sachs at a company party . Very exciting for a dork like me.

If anyone is interested in having their company volunteer time or donate to one of these causes, please let me know and I can have one of the corporate coordinators in these organizations get in touch with you.

Feeling Kind of Pale

Rode my bike to work for the first time today. Took a lot longer than my test ride because I had not factored in the traffic difference on a Saturday as compared to a Monday. I was about 10 minutes late. My boss was late too so no big deal.

Apparently, riding your bike to work in the burbs is an odd thing to see since I had a number of remarks thrown my way on my way home. They include the following:

• Ride your bike on the sidewalk, asshole.
• Nice bike, faggot.
• Look! It's the 40 year old virgin.
  
• Woo-hoo!

There were a few others that I couldn't make out so maybe they were/weren't aimed at me.

Apparently, the sidewalk remark is born out of the fact that you can ride your bike out there and never run into anyone. The streets are packed but the only people I saw using the sidewalks were people on bikes. It's illegal in the city but in Jefferson Park it appears to be the preferred use. As for the other comments I say:

• Why does riding a bike make me gay? Also, it's 2007 folks. Can we stop using that word?
  
• I am not 40 and I slept with lots of ladies in my day. Who? Girl I met at Niagra Falls. You wouldn't know her. She's from Canada.
  
• Woo-hoo indeed. I was hauling ass down Foster at the time and with the wind in my hair I probably looked pretty dashing.
  

When I got back to my predominantly Hispanic neighborhood I realized that my skin is awfully white this spring. My darker skinned neighbors made me feel really pasty. I make Rose McGowan look like Lorenzo Llamas. Gotta get a little sun on these legs.

The Times (And Climate) Are A Changin'

I went to the hospital today to meet my new niece. She is beautiful and I am very proud of Melissa and Steven. Steven does have an awkward way of holding the little lady that makes me nervous to watch. I know he'd never drop her but... It just makes me nervous. Melissa is a natural though so I am sure he'll pick up on the tricks of the trade.

I rode my bike back home and when I got to the intersection at Diversey and Western, I had to stop for what seemed like an eternity because of traffic. That's when I saw some folks with sandwich boards and fliers. One of them was heading my way. There is an abortion clinic at that intersection and I thought to myself, "Please, do not let one of these people show me a picture of a dead baby after just seeing a brand new life." Thankfully, they spared me that.

Instead, they tried to give me a pamphlet calling global warming a hoax and that Al Gore and his cronies are part of a massive conspiracy to benefit Democrats and that this science insulted god somehow. Now I wanted to tell them, "That's an abortion clinic over there, ya know?"

I am so sick of people arguing for or against global warming. Even if you're one of those folks who thinks it is a hoax (I call them nut-jobs), you still know that we are damaging our planet. I mean, these people were standing in the middle of Western Ave. . There had to be a few times today when they held their breath when a cloud of exhaust fumes got in their face. Why would anyone try to stop a movement that will improve our environment and enhance our quality of life? Fucking retards.

Good Time To Start A Drywall Company

The USOC just announced that Chicago is their choice to be the host city for the 2016 Summer Olympics. I am thrilled. I have always believed that I live in the greatest city in the world. The best people, the best vision for development and the best park system of any urban center I have ever been to.

I think that we have a better chance of winning the bid at the IOC level than anyone else. The idea that all the construction will create new affordable housing as a legacy of the games along with the creation of more park facilities along the lake front is great news. Every time I go down to Millennium Park, I get a little pang of pride and the idea that we can add to that is truly great news.

Plus, I fucking hate Los Angeles.

Ad Problems

So I decided to sign up for this ad thing and I am a little disappointed on how it is turning out. I assumed it would be based on some sort of relevancy like the way G-mail uses key words from emails to post links to ads or products I might be interested on the right side of my screen. Problem is that right now there is an ad for Ann Coulter's book and some thing about Jesus. They change from time to time but I HATE Ms. Coulter and I am an atheist so it is a little off putting to have these ads up. any body know of a remedy or a way to have them not at the top of the page? I don't want anybody thinking I am a right winger or a religious zealot.

I Can't Wait For The Baby SItting Revenue To Start Rolling In

I am proud to announce that my brother and sister in law finally got to meet the little lady that has been hiding in Melissa's belly for the last nine months. Her name is Mia Esme (my emerald) and she was 8 pounds 10 and a half ounces. This is my 8th niece/nephew and the first that was well thought out and planned. The rest were all "happy accidents." Seems that some of the family have been a little careless. Now I gotta get down to the store and buy some booties.

A Final Confrontation

Alderman Joe Moore and opponent Don Gordon were on Chicago Tonight just a few minutes ago and I have to say that Joe made a powerful argument but somehow still came off as being an asshole. He stepped all over Don's speaking time and the moderator let him get away with it. I hate it when a moderator does not do their job. I was pretty disappointed. Phil Ponce should have handled that one instead of the 15th ward debate going on now. He has a lot more control .

In any case, I think that Joe is the man to vote for because he doesn't seem to be as deeply in the pockets of outside influences as Gordon which is amazing considering Joe has been at the job for a long time. Gordon did explain his opinions well but I came away feeling that it is better to stick with Joe for now as he at least has a direction that (if sometimes unpopular) he feels is what the majority of his constituents want.

I think that the blue light cameras scare off business as well as criminals but that's the only thing Don and I seem to agree on. I hate to be a tool but I think I gotta vote for Joe. Again.

Cancer, Political Gold

Fred Thompson today released the news that he has cancer that is in remission. McCain has had skin cancer. Edwards got a big boost when he announced his wife has cancer. Bob Dole had cancer. John Kerry? Colon cancer. I am starting to wonder if the question we need to be asking ourselves this political season is not "Can a black man or a woman win the presidency?" but rather "Can a man with a healthy colon or a woman with healthy breast tissue win the nomination from their party?" My advice? Smoke 'em if you got 'em.

Spring Has Sprung

Not really. If you live anywhere near me you are probably a little disgusted with Mother Nature today. As I write this I am watching a full on blizzard going on outside my office window. I am gonna go slap the shit out of Tom Skilling later on.

Don Imus-t Be Retarded

The title of this post is about all that needs to be said. Don is an old man who should not be fired because he is a racist but because he is boring and a fossil. I sometimes catch his show on MSNBC once in a while and it is pretty lame. And let's get rid of the cowboy hat. What kind of an asshole wears a cowboy hat to do a radio show in their New York studio? What a dick.

K-Mart Hates Jesus

I am not a religious person so while much of the city was celebrating Easter today, I decided to bee-bop on down to Target and pick up a few items. It was a nice walk along the Boulevard but when I got to Target they were closed. You see, I had forgotten it was Easter altogether since I had no plans to celebrate and I am retarded.

Anyways, I headed down Elston to give Kohl's a shot. No dice. They were locked up tight. Wicker Park K-mart? Bingo! No religious zealots runnin' K-mart. Scored a new lock for my bike and some Vitamin Water and then ran into my friend Tom in the parking lot who gave me a ride home.

Had myself a sammich and got dressed for a long bike ride. I decided to test my route to work. It's a pretty good ride at about 13 miles each way. It was fun to get out and ride again after being cooped up all winter. Also, it was nice to get out of the house and away from the disturbing cooing of the amorous pigeons on my back porch.

I felt pretty good when I got back and stopped at Wally's for a treat but alas they were closed. K-Mart might be run by atheists but Wally's is run by Polish folks and nobody loves themselves some Catholicism like the Polish. So instead of sausages for dinner I am ordering Thai food as my reward. I'm sure my doctor would be thrilled since this is the first year I can remember not eating 6 pounds of spiral cut ham on Easter.

By the way, doesn't it seem strange that we celebrate the the resurrection of the King of the Jews by wolfing down a whole mess of pork? Maybe it's just me.

Happy Easter to those of you who are inclined to Christianity. If you're Greek orthodox, I'll see you at Walgreen's tomorrow scoring those discounted Peeps.

10 and 2 Please

Most days on the train I read a book but sometimes on the way home I just want to shut my brain off for a little while. A new hobby I have come up with is peering out the window on the blue line and observe the things people do when they are driving that do not encourage safe driving. I figure about 40 percent of the people I viewed were doing things they shouldn't be doing. Here is a short list of the things I have seen:

• Cell phone use (most common and illegal activity)
• Talking on phone while gesturing wildly with other hand (Who's got the wheel? No one.)
  
• Reading (material usually pressed to steering wheel)
• Nose picking
• Smoking with arm hanging out window
• Talking to person in back seat
• Trying to get something from back seat
• Putting on make up

Those are all pretty pedestrian and common. Now for the ones that floored me:

• Trimming toe nails (foot on steering wheel)
• Brushing teeth
• Drinking beer in plain view (someone with a cell phone call a cop please)
• Passenger giving driver a "noogie"
• Smoking a joint
• Taking shirt off
• Cleaning the car (Armour All-ing the car)
• Checking their blood sugar
  
• Making out
  

That's just so far this week. I have to say that I am very disappointed that "rocking out" is not on this list. As far as I am concerned that is the only reason to own a car in the city. I mean, it's five o'clock folks - time to "Get the Led out."

Unintelligent Design

Recently, I was turned on to a group of people who call themselves Raelians. Led by their prophet (Rael) they believe that we are the product of aliens blended with primitive Canadians. They make many claims that their religion is based on science. They seem rather harmless but the science they use to support their claims is so suspect that only a primitive Canadian would believe it.

Watch this introductory video into their beliefs and have a good laugh:

Crooked Wheels

I love riding my bike so when it was stolen a few weeks ago, I was devastated. Really, I actually worry about my bike and hope whoever has it now treats her good. I am practical though and can't go without a bike on a warm day. I got a new for me used bike yesterday.

I had been looking for a bike for a few weeks on Craigslist and eBay. I bid on a couple and inquired about a few only to find that they were already sold or I was outbid. Started to get ready to head on down to Target and buy a piece of shit Huffy when a really nice Schwinn came to my attention for a ridiculously low price. I called the guy and he told me where he lived and to call again when I got there.

So I head on down to the meeting spot and call the guy again expecting him to come out of the building I am standing in front of. After a few minutes, I see some fella walking down the street from the opposite corner with a bike. As he gets closer, I realize that this is the bike I came to see. "Why would he meet me on some anonymous corner not by his home?", I thought, "Maybe there is something wrong with the bike and that is why it is so cheap and he doesn't want someone coming to his house to return it." He is now right in front of me.

"Michael?", he asks.
"Yeah, that's me."
"Mark."
"Nice to meet you."

The guy I was supposed to meet went by Dave over the phone.

We shake hands and talk a little about the bike while I inspect it. The bike has a few minor scratches but is otherwise like new. I take it for a quick spin and put it through its paces but still no apparent flaws. "Why is it so cheap?", I think again and again. Now, at some point it occurs to me that the bike is stolen but how do you ask a guy if he is a thief? I decide to ask him why he is selling it. He says he is just selling it for a buddy of his who does not have a computer and can't list it himself.

I look the bike over again and make idle chit chat while I try to absolve myself from any moral fault.

Devil on shoulder: This bike is f'n sweet!
Angel: This is ill begotten loot to be sure. Doth thou want to support a man that thine own self doth revile so?
Devil: This bike is sooo f'n sweet.

I bought the bike.

To whomever the rightful owner of this bike is, I promise to take good care of her.

An Interesting Walk

I was in the mood to paint today so I decided to scoot on over to the nearest art supply store I could find (thanks Google) and was caught in the rain. I quickly took cover under the awning of a nearby building. After a few seconds I smelled smoke. I thought, "Please don't let my sanctuary be on fire." I turned around and realized that the doorway I was in led to a restaurant called Honey1 BBQ. Seeing as I had to wait out the storm and have been taking pretty good care of myself lately, I decided to treat myself to a cholesterol festival.

I looked at the menu and decided to go for the old stand by and my gold standard of barbecue, the pulled pork sandwich. They serve their's with slaw and sauce and it is awesome. I liked it so much that I ate all my fries because I wanted to savor every last bit of that sauce. Superb. Get over there if you can.

Once I got to the art store I was really happy. It is called http://artsupply.com/ so I guess they do mostly online business but they have a very friendly staff that will help you with anything. They have the cheapest prices for art supplies in the city that I have found.

Finally, I wanted to mention something that became apparent to me on my trip. I was wearing my sweats when I left the house. I had not shaved, and had just finished cleaning the house. I was kinda scruffy at best and maybe a little smelly. On my way to my destination, people tended to look at me with disfavor and maybe thought I was a bum or something. I completely understand that since I was maybe a little ripe at the time. No big deal

Thing is, on my way back (now with a little BBQ sauce added to my costume) with a canvas and a sack of paints, people started asking me about what I was working on. Strangers! I had been transformed from a dirt bag to an eccentric artist just because of the things I was carrying. It's like the time I saw a guy in the grocery store with mud sprayed all over his back and thought, "What a shitbag." Later I saw a bike helmet in his cart and knew why he was dirty and why I was a judgmental asshole.

Brothers Separated at Birth

That's what I think every time I see Rove and Sampson. I first thought maybe Karl was his dad but who the hell would bang that?

Son? Daddy?

Not sure what the deal is. Maybe the Rs are hoping they will think that Kyle is Karl and leave Rove to pursue his true passion as an MC? Could be.

In any case, it seems the White House is gonna let Alberto do a little dance and see what happens. I still think he will walk away looking guilty but any prosecutor appointed to go after him will have "sand thrown in his eyes" ala Pat Fitzgerald.

Aaaaaaaah, Do The Asshole!

This may be the worst White House Corresponents Dinner ever. Bush was funnier than thes guys. This is painfully embarassing to watch and Karl talking about beheading animals is a bit disturbing. This is a prime example of why improv comedy should be made illegal. That said, enjoy!

I Hatie Katie

Katie Couric is ruining my Sixty Minutes. She first sucked up to Condi Rice and now she takes a hard line with the Edwards' family and accuses them of using Elizabeth Edwards' cancer for political gain. This from a woman who didn't quit her job when her own husband was dying of cancer. Some people might say, "That Katie Couric is a bee-otch!"

Cheating on Barack

Me: So... Hey, John. Sorry to hear about your wife's illness. That must be really rough.

Edwards: Why thanks for your kind words, Michael. They are deeply appreciated.

Me: Ya know what? (sliding up behind him)You could proly use a little shoulder rub right about now. Everybody tells me I have magic fingers...

You know where this is going. Up until recently, I (like many others) have been kind of ignoring John Edwards but recent events have made me take a second look. Here's a couple who have had a lot of tragedy in their lives and still have some sense of mission to serve the public even at a time when another tragedy is looming on the horizon. That says a lot about the character of this guy and his wife. Pretty inspirational stuff.

In Honor of Al Gore's Recent Visit to Congress

Aide-ing and Abetting

Yesterday, Bush made an "offer" to allow congress to interview top White House aides (Rove and Miers primarily) in regards to the firing of 8 U.S. attorneys. Problem is, he doesn't want them to be under oath. He wants it to be behind closed doors and he doesn't want to allow any transcripts of the proceedings. So basically he is saying, "I'll allow you to interview these folks but only if it is completely meaningless and a waste of everybody's time." This may be the biggest crock of shit yet.

This is a white house that is fighting for it's life because if congress can prove that the administration used a loophole in the Patriot Act to install politically favored appointees without congressional approval in order to taint criminal investigations of republicans (especially in the case of Lam) it is akin to Watergate. The fact that they initially lied about the motivation for the firings and language in emails that suggests that the so called "temporary appointees" installed under the Patriot Act were not really going to be temporary indicates a lot of sneaky activity but nothing that can yet be deemed illegal. Trying to keep Rove and Miers out of the hot seat I think is a last ditch effort to keep evidence that there was indeed illegal activity under wraps.

Here's the problem, Conyers, is gonna issue subpoenas real soon and the pres is going to exercise executive privilege to protect the administration's (not the country's) interests. If congress does decide to push the issue (and I think they will) the case goes to the Justice Department where (wait for it) Alberto Gonzales gets to decide whether or not to prosecute the case! Are you fucking kidding me? So don't expect the AG to resign any time soon. With this little arrangement in place the White House can continue to do what it wants so long as Justice is in their corner. Fuck!

Do you think Rove and the boys knew this from the get go? Hells yeah they did! Double fuck!

In related news, at least the senate voted overwhelmingly to close the loophole that allowed all this shit to happen in the first place.

Evidence That I Am An Old Jaded Prick (like you needed any)

I was walking to the library on Saturday and came across some folks trying to pass out copies of The Socialist Worker newspaper. When I got within earshot, they started giving me their pitch. I waved my hand at them and said, "Socialism only works in art school." and kept walking.

After walking a few more blocks, I started to feel bad. I used to BE a socialist. I used to think that people (given the right set of rules) could take care of everyone without being corrupt. I was a kid that had ideals for society that were lofty to be sure but also founded on a belief in my fellow man. What an asshole I am. I still think the "art school" remark was funny. That makes me a huge asshole.

When I got to the library, I got a biography of Ben Franklin. Maybe that makes up for it.

Everything's Gone Green

BeforeAfter


Happy St. Patrick's Day everybody. It was such a nice morning to day that I thought I'd begin a new initiative I like to call "It IS My F'n Job." In this movement, I am going to try and do something good for my community each weekend. Today, in honor of the holiday, I decided to do something "green" and clean up the trash on my block. Two hours later and the parkways on my block are litter free... for about 5 minutes. Among the items collected:

• Beer and Soda cans - 3
  
• Vodka, rum and other liquor bottles - 11
  
• Diapers - 2 (unsoiled)
• Jeans - 1 pair
• Gloves - 5 (no matching pairs)
• Socks - 1
• Discarded parking tickets - 2
  
• Chinese take out menus -3 zillion
• Little red rubberbands used to secure above menus to gates and doorknobs -1 zillion
• Keys - 1 set (had a tag stating to put them in the nearest mailbox)
  
• Doll - 1 (very creepy and apparently dog chewed)
• Sizzlin' Hot Cheetos bags - 13
• A lot of small metal objects and stuff that appeared to have fallen off of people's cars
  
• Assorted plastic and paper products and cigarette butts- 5 garbage bags worth

I was kind of surprised by the quantity of paper goods. I was also surprised by the absence of drug paraphenalia. No condoms either. I am thinking about getting some folks to hit the park down the street next week so I am sure it's just a matter of time.

BTW, I decided to leave the freshly thawed dog poop for Mother Nature to take care of.

Up in Plames!

Valerie Plame is pissed! And hot. OK, I admit I got a thing for sexy spies. Who doesn't? I'll tell you who... Karl Rove. That guy is trying to run this lady outta town? What an asshole. Seriously though, she was soooo ready for her testimony and so ready for those that might defame her testimony that I was floored. Having charisma and no substance is something I can ususally see through but this lady totally kicked ass. She's got the substance. If people were just political nerds like me, Karl would be in jail tomorrow.

The Dems are being really aggressive with oversight now that they are in charge of congress but I am hoping that they stick with big issues and don't get too bogged down in petty shit that makes them look vindictive and small. I want this and other cases to serve as an exposure of a pattern of deception by the administration and set up a lot of folks who were complicit for a big fall.

Between this and the Gonzales cover up, I am not sure how the White House is going to get past it. Someone has to go down and that person is going to have to be either Rove or Cheney. My guess is Rove since he can still work for the party and make a nice salary and feed his advice up the chain of command.

Whole Lotta Sheikhin' Goin' On

Khalid Sheikh Mohammed apparently confessed to almost every crime commited in the past 20 years according to reports I read today. It's all a little fishy. Here's why I don't think he really did all these things:

• His nickname was "The Brain. " On the show Pinky and the Brain, The Brain could never accomplish shit.
  
• He looks like Ron Jeremy's derelict older brother.
  
• In order to have done all these things, you'd think he would have been a little better at evading capture. When they caught him, he looked like he had just been taken from his trailer after watching "Arab COPS" in his underwear while eating 2 day old fried chicken. Lil greasy.
  

I think this guy knows he is going down and figures he can only further his cause by admitting to a lot of shit he didn't really do. He can protect other guilty parties and also make himself appear to be the greatest hero that ever lived amongst other extremists. Either that, or we just tortured the shit out of him until he started admitting to everything we put in front of him to make ourselves look like we have everything under control. In any case, I am waiting for this thing to play out before I start celebrating. Also, can we please not pursue the death penalty and make ourselves look less like blood thirsty shitbags for once?

Oh, Poor Viacom.

VS.

Are you not making enough billions of dollars? Have you yet to discover that there is a whole generation of folks who are online all the time and if you just published the content for free online yourselves and put in your own commercials, you can keep making your stockholders richer? People don't want to watch shows when they are scheduled. I don't want another box I have to program (TiVo) with more chords sitting under my tv. I want to watch wherever and whenever I want. Provide that service and you will be the darling of the interwebs. Instead you are going to sue YouTube, turn off a bunch of people who hate big corporations ruining their fun, and shut off a free advertising outlet that probably led people to watch more of your programming the traditional way when all is said and done.

If you want to sue someone, sue peekvid.com. Those guys are posting bootleg movies in their entirety. They either have balls the size of boulders or they are based somewhere in the mid-east that doesn't give 2 squirts about US copyright law.

Ow!

Got my first root canal today. Kinda sucked. I am in a lot of pain right now because they didn't finish. I got to picture number 3 when it satarted to get real painful again. He didn't want to give me any more anesthetic as he told me that he had given me more than he had ever given to any other patient. This is a problem that runs in my family. The doc decided I had suffered enough for the day and that he wanted to give it a couple of weeks to let it heal a bit. So I still have some nerve tissue in there that is very sore. I asked him for something to take for pain and he said ibuprofen. Ibuprofen for the guy you just had to anesthetize to the legal limit and he was still squirming in the chair? I need REAL drugs pal! Ugh.

Spring Fever

Why did I go to work today? My boss called off citing food poisoning. I am guessing the only thing that was poisoned was his work ethic. I seriously considered calling in and taking my conference calls from a coffee shop today. It is so beautiful out right now. As a matter of fact, what the hell am I doing sitting here at my computer? I am going home, stripping outta these clothes and going to try and find a place to hang out that had the forsight to open their outdoor seating today. See you on the sidewalks.

Bigger Fish to Fry?

Can we get Scooter a new attorney? I think he is getting bad advice. I know Scooter is no saint and that he is guilty as sin but he was acting on behalf of the Vice President of the United States. It seems that it was quite apparent to the jury in his trial that there should have been a lot of other folks brought to trial in this case. I cannot fathom why Fitzgerald would let Cheney take a pass. I am not a Washington insider but I read a lot of articles and blog entries by people who are and they seem baffled as well.

Cheney was described in no uncertain terms throughout the course of this trial as being the person who directed this leak. It seemed to me that there was more damning evidence against Cheney introduced during this trial than there was against Scooter. Someone please help me understand this. If Fitzgerald is sandbagging a charge for political reasons, I would not be surprized.

Been a While

I have decided to get back into the blogging thing. It's been a while and I am a little rusty so bear with me.

First thing I wanted to get out there is that I have decided to back Barack Obama and am going to try and organize a fundraiser. Trouble is, I have never organized anything like this in my life. If anyone knows anything about fundraising or knows somebody who has experience, please let me know. I haven't settled on a theme or anything yet so suggestions are welcome. I am hoping to have the event sometime this summer. That way I can avoid trying to rent a space and maybe just have the thing at a park and rent a tent or something. Anyway, it's still in it's infancy but hopefully I can get it to grow up quick. Pass this on to anyone you think can help.