tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-169836512024-03-20T05:00:31.851-05:00Michael on FargoWhat I think AboutMichael Khttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08159687903619549873noreply@blogger.comBlogger282125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16983651.post-30266844969306795972008-07-28T12:27:00.001-05:002008-07-28T12:28:39.549-05:00My Blog Will Be Way More Popular After This PostI was listening to NPR this morning and there was some discussion about the Philippine's Moral Islamic Liberation Front and a recent peace agreement that they had arrived at with President Arroyo. You can learn a lot about it by Googling "Filipino MILF".Michael Khttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08159687903619549873noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16983651.post-44454160798212010432008-07-16T13:39:00.003-05:002008-07-16T13:49:53.298-05:00Sleeping Problems?Do you find yourself tossing and turning at night? Are you kept awake worrying about things you can't do anything about? Are you just too keyed up to get a good rest? Me too! Here's what did last night to remedy it:<br /><br /><ol><li>Chose a relaxing movie to watch before bed. My choice was "Narc."<br /></li><li>While watching the movie I snacked on chocolate covered espresso beans and washed it down with Diet Dr. Pepper.<br /></li><li>Sat quietly in bed waiting for my heart to explode.<br /></li><li>Slept like a baby*.</li></ol>There you have it. Good luck and sweet dreams.<br /><br /><br /><br />*A crack baby.Michael Khttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08159687903619549873noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16983651.post-82283379166723876502008-06-23T13:07:00.003-05:002008-06-23T13:42:01.663-05:00The Creepy Guy At The Gym<a href="http://www.legaljuice.com/stalker2.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" src="http://www.legaljuice.com/stalker2.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br />Dear Creepy Guy, <br /><br />Just wanted to let you know that I REALLY don't need a spot. Seriously, I got it. If I need help I'll let you know. Actually, I won't. I'll let someone else know because you are totally creeping me out. You've asked me like 20 times and the only people who would do such a thing are stalkers and Super Christians and I don't have room for either in my life right now. <br /><br />Also, if you could cut the chit-chat in the locker room, I'd really appreciate it. I do not like talking to other guys when I'm naked. Don't stand around waiting for me to take my head phones off either. That is not some sort of signal. I just can't change my shirt with my iPod on. <br /><br />Another locker room issue I have is that you apparently don't realize that you can pass me by stepping to the other side of the bench. No need to brush by in your towel. If you do it again, I might freak out a little. Actually, I might freak out a lot. <br /><br />Finally, eat a fucking Certs or something. You got salami breath real bad.<br /><br />Sincerely, <br />Michael KMichael Khttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08159687903619549873noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16983651.post-32072715226464252532008-06-14T13:03:00.003-05:002008-06-14T13:11:14.235-05:00A Lesson Learned<a href="http://mfrost.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2007/05/29/the_more_you_know2.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" src="http://mfrost.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2007/05/29/the_more_you_know2.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />If you are having coffee with a group of people and you notice that a woman has a cigar case in her purse, do not say, "Hey, you must really like the tobaccy. What kind of cigars do you smoke?" There is a good chance that she does not carry cigars in it.Michael Khttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08159687903619549873noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16983651.post-47593976579141091922008-06-13T15:40:00.003-05:002008-06-13T15:46:43.348-05:00So Long, Tim.Tim Russert died today. Sunday mornings won't be the same. Here he is busting Cheney's balls:<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/W8tXOID45Qw&hl=en"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/W8tXOID45Qw&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />Good times.Michael Khttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08159687903619549873noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16983651.post-52761032954032344152008-06-04T18:46:00.005-05:002008-06-04T19:06:43.111-05:00FinallyLast night should have finally brought the campaign to a close but Hillary has decided to hold out and not make a concession speech. I imagine she is holding out for some concession form the Obama campaign. I imagine it is something to do with carrying her agenda forward. I hope that whatever it is, she either gets it or gets over it soon. It's time to get on with the ass kicking we are going to give McCain. <br /><br />If this is any indicator of the treatment McCain is going to get from the press in the months to come, this is going to be a fucking blowout. <br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/3aMDJP4VxY4&hl=en"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/3aMDJP4VxY4&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />Yes, those are FOX news correspondents making fun of Johnny "Geritol" McCain. <br /><br />While I am in cocky swagger mode I'd like to add, "GO CUBS!"Michael Khttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08159687903619549873noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16983651.post-63358096820772753272008-05-30T18:39:00.003-05:002008-11-13T05:54:36.233-06:00I Went To College.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2BURHNB_p3O0QLUlEvywu1lUTrB1lYq-0iqx3A2-nKIhxtyUyQUhGeDYVn_xiuuVlAnp6Lj4OXJ1C9YhL2pwGh-bw6NSjn0EmJwmOv5Mmk8xjNz06xAK4h3m54nngS33FawObCw/s1600-h/redneck.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2BURHNB_p3O0QLUlEvywu1lUTrB1lYq-0iqx3A2-nKIhxtyUyQUhGeDYVn_xiuuVlAnp6Lj4OXJ1C9YhL2pwGh-bw6NSjn0EmJwmOv5Mmk8xjNz06xAK4h3m54nngS33FawObCw/s320/redneck.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5206321439171735106" /></a><br />And I am sure my professors would be thrilled by this exchange I had today with a passing motorist:<br /><br />Dude in truck: Nice hat, faggot! Cubs suck!<br /><br />Me: Suck my ass!<br /><br />Then I shot him the bird.Michael Khttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08159687903619549873noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16983651.post-72251382915844270092008-05-19T16:33:00.003-05:002008-05-19T16:44:09.994-05:00Maybe It's Just Me...I really like The Arcade Fire. They are one of the 3 or 4 best bands from the last few years in my opinion. I stayed up late twice to watch them on both Austin City Limits and SNL. I even plan on going to see them the next time they are in town. With all that said, there is one problem I have with this group (not that they're Canadian) and it has to do with this song:<br /><br /><object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/GEZockGkEyY&hl=en"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/GEZockGkEyY&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object><br /><br />It's a great song but every time I hear it I get this song stuck in my head:<br /><br /><object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/_nLiQBV6A7c&hl=en"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/_nLiQBV6A7c&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object><br /><br />Is it just me?Michael Khttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08159687903619549873noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16983651.post-90713104351504552942008-05-17T13:58:00.002-05:002008-05-17T14:12:04.034-05:00You Get What You Pay ForI have been reviewing the "Free" listings on Craigslist lately. Here are a few things that could be yours for nothing:<br /><ul><li><a href="http://milwaukee.craigslist.org/zip/684340134.html">Expired Baby Cereal - Unopened -</a><span style="font-size:-1;"> We Care about our children but if you don't, come pick this shit up.</span></li><li><a href="http://milwaukee.craigslist.org/zip/683766648.html">used motor oil 8 gallons FREE -</a><span style="font-size:-1;">Throw in a wading pool and a turkey baster and you got yourself a deal. Ladies?</span></li><li><a href="http://milwaukee.craigslist.org/zip/673925703.html">concrete blankets -</a><span style="font-size:-1;">Sounds comfy.</span></li><li><a href="http://milwaukee.craigslist.org/zip/674627634.html">Free Boat:: What Do You Expect For Free ? -</a><span style="font-size:-1;">A fucking boat, I guess!<br /></span></li></ul>Michael Khttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08159687903619549873noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16983651.post-45475115863804994122008-05-14T15:58:00.002-05:002008-05-14T16:07:22.770-05:00ET Is Just Alright With Me...The Rev. Jose Gabriel Funes, the Jesuit director of the Vatican Observatory, said that the vastness of the universe means it is possible there could be other forms of life outside Earth, even intelligent ones.<br /><br />In an interview published Tuesday by Vatican newspaper L'Osservatore Romano, Funes said that such a notion "doesn't contradict our faith" because aliens would still be God's creatures.<br /><br />All my Catholic friends can openly enjoy fantasies of being abducted by little green men now that the Vatican has given the OK to believe in aliens. They just aren't allowed to enjoy what the little green men do to them.Michael Khttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08159687903619549873noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16983651.post-82607414366084013732008-05-13T18:00:00.004-05:002008-05-13T18:55:15.859-05:00Coo-coo for CUFI?McCain's campaign has been making a lot of what they call an "endorsement" by Hamas for Obama. It was actually a comment by Ahmed Yousef that he liked Barack and then compared him to JFK. This is actually pretty old news but since it was brought up in a conversation I had yesterday with a person who is not a complete idiot, I thought I'd weigh in on one of my favorite McCain supporter/endorsers, John Hagee.<br /><br />Hamas may be full of religious nuts but they are also the leading political party in the Palestinian Authority and believe that the Senator from Illinois has displayed the leadership needed to resolve issues in the mid-east. Even so, Obama has condemned them as a terrorist organization on a number of occasions. Not exactly courting their endorsement. Thus it is hard to believe that the beliefs of Hamas will have any bearing on the Senator's policies. The "endorsement" is nothing more than a strange comment on a radio show.<br /><br />Hagee is a religious nut/televangelist who has lots of viewers here in the US. I assume a lot of those people vote and are probably in the conservative Republican camp. Those voters have been heavily courted by McCain and when he received Hagee's endorsement at a press conference his campaign organized, he seemed pretty pleased with it. Here's a little taste of the John Hagee we all know and love:<br /><br /><object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/IWMmVIAtHAU&hl=en"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/IWMmVIAtHAU&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object><br /><br />And some more stuff for those of you who can't get enough:<br /><br /><object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/YFYiSJHbnZc&hl=en"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/YFYiSJHbnZc&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object><br /><br />Apparently, Ezekiel and Joel were huge on petroleum economics and foreign policy. <br /><br />And just in case you think Hagee is just a fat old man who spouts off to crazy people and not part of a dangerous organization like Hamas: <br /><br /><object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/9mtqucMUX9M&hl=en"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/9mtqucMUX9M&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object><br /><br />Maybe it's just me but I think that maybe John McCain ought to start condemning folks like this. Don't get me started about Pat Robertson (again).Michael Khttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08159687903619549873noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16983651.post-41876438985195879742008-05-07T12:51:00.003-05:002008-11-13T05:54:37.183-06:00Fear and Hatred in Milwaukee<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqIZfw1yMooRG1eEUrpWRxsTyaLgYoH9-kZ6xqQHs0l1Er_aXOhNNknzpiaeq6CRiuSSxp7Mo_3Gu_mAbRM35wy8xASoRVwTTQGTQHq8ZLfqYeF6hKIzZTTEdB7hIjjLa-3mXUUg/s1600-h/milwaukee1.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqIZfw1yMooRG1eEUrpWRxsTyaLgYoH9-kZ6xqQHs0l1Er_aXOhNNknzpiaeq6CRiuSSxp7Mo_3Gu_mAbRM35wy8xASoRVwTTQGTQHq8ZLfqYeF6hKIzZTTEdB7hIjjLa-3mXUUg/s320/milwaukee1.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5197701194112800898" /></a><br />Since coming to Milwaukee I have discovered a that there is a long standing feud between the citizens of Cream City and The Hog Butcher for the World. The problem is that nobody bothered to tell people in Chicago. <br /><br />They fucking hate Chicago here. They blame us for everything from pollution to stealing all their talented young people and crowding their lakes with tourists. I was yelled at in the Pick-and-Save the other day while wearing my Cubs hat. A fella told me, "The fucking Cubs suck!" He had his kids with him. He was passing the hate down to another generation right there in the produce department. I imagined them eating apples later at a Klan rally and complaining that they were picked by a bunch of filthy Chicagoans. <br /><br />While riding my bike the other day (again with my Cubs hat on) a guy in a truck pulled alongside me and yelled, "Where's your training wheels, pansy? Go back to Illinois!" it was right around the time you'd expect someone to get off work from the brewery so he was probably drunk but that hardly excuses his behavior. <br /><br />I can't wait to get back to Chi-town and go back to ignoring Milwaukee and treating Wisconsin like Canada.Michael Khttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08159687903619549873noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16983651.post-20489867715530781762008-03-17T13:33:00.003-05:002008-03-17T13:51:47.337-05:00Can I Get A God Damn, America!?<object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/lBKwSqM3ASc&hl=en"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/lBKwSqM3ASc&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object><br /><br />I have been to a lot of different religious services in my life and have heard lots of crazy shit come out of the mouths of religious men and have not spoken out to condemn them. To prevent that from ever casting a cloud of suspicion over any future campaigns for elected office, I would like to set the record straight that I believe most of the stuff that comes out of the mouths of preachers is nutty bullshit. I don't think anybody is going to hell or that they will be buried up to their chins in shit for eternity. <br /><br />Speaking of being buried in shit, isn't it time we all asked that Chris Wallace stop sullying the name of his father with his non-stop drivel? I am challenging Chris Wallace to be interviewed by this blog and am officially declaring my own "Wallace Watch!" Every second that passes without a response will be interpreted as cowardice by Chris and not as him disregarding a 2 bit blogger because he has something else to do. As a matter of fact, I'm putting all of Fox News on notice. It's an all out "Fox Watch" bitches!Michael Khttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08159687903619549873noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16983651.post-84139600612875144822008-03-13T08:21:00.003-05:002008-03-13T08:25:34.355-05:00I Can Be Silent No Longer<object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/OCruefYl3FI&hl=pt-br"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/OCruefYl3FI&hl=pt-br" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object><br /><br />I am personally offended by Geraldine's comments and negative portrayal of African Americans. Shameful.Michael Khttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08159687903619549873noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16983651.post-59360819675293231642008-02-23T11:37:00.003-06:002008-02-23T11:52:06.597-06:00A Little TasteHowdy, folks! Thanks for all your well wishes and everything. I am doing fine and hope to begin acting like a normal person again soon. Not up for a great big old blog post just yet but here are a few notes and thoughts over recent weeks.<br /><br /><ul><li>Obama is going to be our next president and I am taking all the credit in advance.</li><li>The writers strike is over and SNL better make up for it tonight or I am going to throw my TV out the window. </li><li>I went to Shedd Aquarium a few days ago and one of the whales exhaled in my face. It was pretty cool.</li><li>Cubs are in training camp. I am getting excited. I am retarded.</li></ul><p> </p><p>I'm going to spend some time over the next several weeks in Milwaukee. If anyone has any suggestions on how to spend my time out there, suggestions will be greatly appreciated.</p><p>More soon.</p>Michael Khttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08159687903619549873noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16983651.post-40211989824171124252008-01-08T12:21:00.000-06:002008-01-08T12:45:37.458-06:00Catching Up<p>Sorry to anyone who may have actually visited recently. I have been a bad blogger. I have a great excuse though. I have been in the hospital since the 27th and have just gained access to a computer. I am going to be fine so nobody worry bout a thing. I just need to catch up on a few things that I missed. </p><ol><li>Barack Obama (my guy) won the Iowa caucus and it looks like he is going to win in New Hampshire as well. I am feeling all proud of myself since I made more than a few calls on his behalf over the last few months. Once SC is in the bag I plan to send Hillarty a photocopy of my ass. </li><li>Ron Paul is a racist anti-semite. This doesn't really surprise me since the Libertarian party has a huge racist sefment that Ron has appealed to in a type of coded language in some of his speeches. He has spoken in support of secession, and is a neo-confederate that thinks both the Civil War and the Civil Rights Act were huge mistakes. Why do so many people back this guy? The possible answer makes me shudder. </li><li>Hillary is a cry-baby. I actually found her show of emaotion quite charming but when she used it a s a spring board to launch into a negative attack on Barack, I was a little put off. </li><li>The Daily Show is back. YAY!!</li></ol><p>That's all I got for now. I promise to try and write more in the coming weeks. Happy New Year!</p><p><br /><br /><br /><br /></p>Michael Khttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08159687903619549873noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16983651.post-65275437904555424472007-12-20T13:53:00.000-06:002007-12-21T12:18:45.044-06:00The Writers Strike Must EndClash Of The Choirs? Is that really what's on TV tonight? For 2 hours? Are you fucking kidding me? Who let Michael Bolton on TV? And Patti Labelle? Way to be on top of the hot talent NBC. Blake Shelton sounds like a made up soap opera name written by a 9 year old.<br /><br />I don't know who has to blow who over in Hollywoodland to end this thing but people better starting putting on the lip gloss pretty soon or I am gonna shoot somebody. They're bringing back American Gladiators on prime time TV for fuck's sake! I am going to turn on my TV soon hoping to catch a new episode of 30 Rock and there is going to be a man in a unitard named Laser beating a guy with a pillow on a broom handle. Fuck me.Michael Khttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08159687903619549873noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16983651.post-10617436321824277042007-12-18T14:02:00.001-06:002007-12-24T13:15:19.988-06:00A Christmas StoryWhen I was in elementary school, we were off the week prior and the week following Christmas. For me, much of this time was spent outside playing in the snow. Burrowing tunnels through plow piles, sledding, snowball fights and the like were pretty much the sole source of entertainment until we got Atari when I was in th 6th grade. Looking back, it was a lot of fun but I was always jealous of those friends who got to go on vacations every winter. They'd come back from break with tans and stories about dolphins, parasailing, and snorkeling.<br /><br />The first few days recesses back at school were usually spent discussing what we had done over break. We'd huddle around on the playground and share our stories. The vacation kids usually went first as they were the most enthusiastic. The kids who got really cool stuff like snowmobiles and mini-bikes were next followed by kids who talked about stunts they pulled and drunken uncles. The last kids to speak were the one-uppers and the liars. In the fifth grade I was in the "stunts/uncles" group after getting busted at the beginning of the year telling a complete bullshit story about what I had done over summer break. I had learned my lesson. This is a story of someone else's humiliation.<br /><br />It was the first day back from break we were out at recess. Eric P (last names abbreviated to protect the innocent) had just finished telling a funny story about a drunken uncle at a Christmas Eve party and we were all replaying images of it in our heads. After the giggling subsided, Joe R. piped in and started telling a story about something his brother did at his own Christmas Party. We listened to him but we were a little skeptical of everything he said.<br /><br />Joe was a horrible one-upper who filled his stories with lots of exaggerations. Once, during a class party for our teacher's birthday, Joe did a few magic tricks. After the teacher told him how good he was, we had to endure Joe telling us all that his grandfather was friends with Harry Houdini. Most of his stories were studded with these types of gems. They were fantastic but unverifiable.<br /><br />Joe's story was going along as we would usually expect. He exaggerated about how much stuff was at the party and how awesome his brother's car was. The goose his mom made barely fit in the oven. His grandmother gave him a check for for a thousand bucks but the money was in the bank and he couldn't get at it until he was 16. We doubted a lot of what he said but noone was going to call his house and ask his mom so what could you do?<br /><br />Joe wasn't getting the ooh's and ahh's he wanted so his story began to take a more fantastic turn. The following are Joe's words as best I can recall them.<br /><br /><strong>Joe:</strong> So then, we went home after the party and my mom let me eat rum balls. I think they had a lot of rum in them and I was feeling all drunk. I stayed up and watched Scrooge and then I put out cookies and stuff for Santa.<br /><br />This last part sent up a few alarms but nobody called him on it. Some families do these things out of tradition. We let him go on.<br /><br /><strong>Joe:</strong> I went to bed and later I heard some noise coming from the living room so I got up and snuck out to look and Santa was there putting presents under the tree.<br /><br />You'd think the stunned look on all our faces would have clued him in to bail on this tale but I think he misinterpreted it as us all really digging his story. He continued.<br /><br /><strong>Joe:</strong> Yeah, so there was Santa and I was trying to be quiet but he knows everything so he knew I was there and everything so he turned around and said, "Hello, Joseph. You've been a very good boy this year so I came to give you a special present."<br /><br />His only salvation would be if this turned into a drunken uncle/child molester story but Joe was now completely in fantasy land.<br /><br /><strong>Joe:</strong> So Santa took me up to the roof and gave me a ride on Rudolph and we went to the North Pole and met the elves and stuff. I got to have cookies with Mrs. Claus and everything. Then he flew me back and he gave me a new football and made me go back to bed.<br /><br />The grilling started immediately. "Wow, Joe. What did Santa look like?" "What kept you from freezing to death in your pajamas while flying to the North Pole on a reindeer?" Dozens of questions were asked and Joe came up with fantastic answers for all of them. He had no idea that he was rapidly digging the hole we would soon bury him in. My best friend, Eric, finally ended the real questions and started the ridicule.<br /><br />"Hey, Joe." he started, "What does reindeer shit smell like? Candy canes?"<br /><br />Paul W. added, "Yeah, Joe. What do Santa's balls taste like?"<br /><br />I don't remember how it ended exactly. I'm sure the bell rang at some point and ended the nightmare that Joe had conjured for himself. We teased him about it for weeks and every year after that someone would bring it up at a class Christmas party or dance. Hell, here I am writing about it all these years later. I wonder if he wakes up sweating on Christmas day with the sound of laughing 10 year old boys in his head. I know I would.Michael Khttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08159687903619549873noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16983651.post-20440595235986186702007-12-14T11:33:00.000-06:002007-12-15T11:25:38.722-06:00Democratic Debate<object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/DSLcplS4pgA&rel=1"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/DSLcplS4pgA&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object><br /><br />Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz... Wha? Huh? Sorry. I nodded off a little bit there for a second. Talking about family farmers is pretty fucking fascinating but can we get to the blowjobs? Iowans really need a BJ right now. Please tell them how much you like the greasy shit that they all choke down at the state fair.Please tell them how important they are and how awesome they are. Sure, there's a war going on but BJs are what is really on the minds of potential caucus goers in IA. Go get your knee-pads, Joe. There are only 3 weeks left and you're way behind in the polls.Michael Khttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08159687903619549873noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16983651.post-1198072629943788382007-12-13T13:17:00.000-06:002007-12-13T13:31:34.477-06:00Republican Debate<p><object height="355" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/JdgnVc9AWuM&rel=1"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/JdgnVc9AWuM&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object><br /><br />After watching the debate last night I came away with these basic points: </p><ul><li>Carolyn Washburn is a stickler for time limits</li><li>Alan Keyes is batshit crazy</li><li>Carolyn Washburn has a giant rod up her ass</li><li>Mitt Romney has nice hair</li><li>I cannot imagine what kind of living nightmare it must be to work for Carolyn Washburn</li><li>Tancredo's stance on ensuring that immigrants are assimilated into our culture comes off a little racist </li></ul><p><br /><br /></p>Michael Khttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08159687903619549873noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16983651.post-52172476038755483832007-12-10T14:32:00.000-06:002007-12-10T14:38:07.042-06:00Helloooooo!<object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/8ERIa_I_0TM&rel=1"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/8ERIa_I_0TM&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object><br /><br />Is it just me or does it bother anyone else that Dana would start a press briefing on the CIA destroying video of interrogations with a super flirty greeting? <br /><br /><object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/8ERIa_I_0TM&rel=1"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/8ERIa_I_0TM&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object><br /><br />Scooter dropped his appeal for one reason. He might be found guilty again and by the time the trial is over Bush will be out of office and unable to pardon him.Michael Khttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08159687903619549873noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16983651.post-40808784121495696532007-12-10T12:13:00.000-06:002007-12-10T12:53:19.994-06:00Al Sharpton Is At It AgainI guess Al couldn't find any innocent LaCrosse players to accuse of rape today so he decided to make threats against the Chicago Police Department. He is demanding an investigation into a number of police brutality cases or else he plans to petition the IOC to deny Chicago's olympic bid. Here are a few points I'd like the "Reverend" to consider:<br /><ul><li>There is already an ongoing investigation into several police brutality cases. </li><li>A Special Opersations Section task force was recently disbanded due to controversy.</li><li>A new Police head was brought in from the outside to clean up the force. Jody Weis has extensive experience in prosecuting corrupt cops.</li><li>Al Sharpton is an embarassment to the Civil Rights movement. </li><li>Does anyone believe the IOC will listen to Al Sharpton?</li><li>Al Sharpton was a drug dealer turned snitch to avoid prison. </li></ul><p></p>Michael Khttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08159687903619549873noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16983651.post-5850532996616220512007-12-03T17:01:00.000-06:002007-12-10T12:46:13.315-06:00Please Stop Beating The Drums Now (Updated!)In case you haven't heard, it turns out that Iran halted its nuclear (nucular if you're Republican) program back in 2003. Seems that the GOPs intense rhetoric and insistence that Iran was not only developing a nuclear weapon but according to Bush, had "threatened countries with a nuclear weapon". From a few months ago:<br /><br /><object height="355" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/1YZizrtgi7Q&rel=1"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/1YZizrtgi7Q&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object><br /><br />I expect we will hear a lot from the Republican candidates in the coming weeks defending previous statements. John "Bom-bomb Iran" McCain will probabaly feel most compelled to make a statement in defending his position and will probably say something like, "Well, it looks like the pressure we put ion them recently worked.", even though it turns out we were making threats based on faulty intelligence once again.<br /><br />The big question that pops into my head after all this is, "How do we keep getting it wrong when it comes to these very important intelligence issues?" My guess is that the best people in the intelligence world are being directed by Bush cronies, appointed to positions they are not qualified to hold. The rest of the administration is a mess. My guess is that that the CIA, NSA, and FBI are probably in just as bad shape. Where are all the lessons we were supposed to have learned from 9/11, GW? Fuck.<br /><br /><strong><span style="color:#ff0000;">UPDATE! </span></strong><br /><p><strong><span style="color:#ff0000;"></p></span></strong><br /><br /><object height="355" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/boGw3VciDig&rel=1"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/boGw3VciDig&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object><br /><br />Why in the hell would Mike McConnell tell W that he had new information and then not tell him what it was? How the fuck would anyone on his staff let him make speeches about WW III knowing that there was evidence like this out there? And finally, does anyone really believe a word that comes out of his mouth?Michael Khttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08159687903619549873noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16983651.post-34894909080957513592007-11-30T11:34:00.000-06:002007-12-01T10:53:18.942-06:00Let's Grow Up Folks<object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/VBjFxBktgYY&rel=1"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/VBjFxBktgYY&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object><br /><br />When I hear Tancredo say shit like this, I want to smakc the shit out of him. Doesn't he realize that not so long ago these same excuses were used to keep blacks from serving in the military? Soldiers do as they are told. Period. WIll there be those that feel a little queezy about working with those that are different from themselves? Yes. But letting dinosaurs like these fellas make decisions about civil rights issues is a fucking joke. <br /><br />If the military is supposed to direct our serving men and women on what proper conduct is, how can we assert that there is something wrong with homosexuals and then send them out into the real world with those prejudices? It is counterproductive to what the U.S. is supposed to be about. <br /><br />Suck it, Hunter.Michael Khttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08159687903619549873noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16983651.post-69232490911088437352007-11-29T12:26:00.000-06:002007-11-29T12:55:29.975-06:00Rove Re-Writes History<object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/gTqACtWRJT0&rel=1"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/gTqACtWRJT0&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object><br /><br />I have been following this for a number of days. I have actually been waiting to see if anyone would come out and support Rove's assertion that Congress was blood thirsty and pushed for war with their vote. So far that boy is standing out in the cold.<br /><br />The very idea that the White House had its hand forced in some way to invade Iraq because of the vote to authorize the use of force is absolute nonsense. First of all, whether congress authorizes it or not, it is the role of the Commander in Chief to direct the actions of the armed forces. How he thinks he can escape this fact under the guise of not wanting to divulge the entirety of his book is fairly ridiculous if not just an outright ploy to sell more copies. <br /><br />I don't have to tell you that there are numerous documented episodes in which the White House made it very clear that they urgently wanted authorization for the war and even used the election as a way to leverage support for pro-authorization votes. We all know that Bush didn't veto shit til the Dems took congress and many spending bills contained huge anounts of pork in order to buy votes for the war both prior to and after authorization. Are you fucking kiddin me Carl? I can't wait to read your book. I will of course be checking out from the library. There's no way I'm gonna pay for it.Michael Khttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08159687903619549873noreply@blogger.com0