The Benevolent and Honourable Site Master at Grant Miller Media
has seen fit to interview yours truly. After recently accusing him of plagiarism, I was a little concerned with how it would go. Thankfully, he didn't put the screws to me too hard.
GM: You lived/worked in DeKalb and seem to know many the same people I know
from there. But I'm unsure we've ever met in real life. Have we and I'm
just an asshole for forgetting?
MoF: We have probably met but I was a bartender at the Annex and there is a good chance that one or both of us were drunk at the time. Your pic looks vaguely familiar but boozin' don't make for good face recognizin'.
GM: You once commented that your dad was a drummer. If so, did he still want
to work? Or did he prefer just banging on the drum all day?
MoF: Aside from banging on his drums, my dad worked on growing his hair and
moustache. I have often described my dad as looking just like Derek Smalls from Spinal Tap. He also did a lot of laundry for his six filthy kids.
GM: Your TV has only two channels. One channel is all politics all the time.
The other is just cooking shows. What do you do?
MoF: I am a sales manager (yeah, I know it's boring). I used to cook at a
fancy ass resturant but after I got divorced I realized that I was not
going to build any mansions on a chef's salary. I headed back to the
office to avoid living in a refrigerator box in the alley. Of course, it
would be a Sub Zero box and the alley would be behind Bloomingdale's. I
got standards.
GM: You live in Chicago. Is Chicago a great city or the greatest city and
why?
MoF: I like to think it is the greatest city because I am vain and refuse to
believe my choice to live here could be anything but pure genious. When
the wind comes clipping off the lake in the middle of January I question my judgement a little. Then I get home and chow on some hot pierogi I bought from the Polish market up the street from me and everything is all better.
GM: Why should people read your blog?
MoF: Because work is boring and sometimes I am not. Also, I never post pictures of kittens or hamsters and dumb shit like that. Take that www.hamstersphoto.com! You suck!
If you would like to be interviewed by me, let me know
