Whole Lotta Sheikhin' Goin' On

Khalid Sheikh Mohammed apparently confessed to almost every crime commited in the past 20 years according to reports I read today. It's all a little fishy. Here's why I don't think he really did all these things:

• His nickname was "The Brain. " On the show Pinky and the Brain, The Brain could never accomplish shit.
  
• He looks like Ron Jeremy's derelict older brother.
  
• In order to have done all these things, you'd think he would have been a little better at evading capture. When they caught him, he looked like he had just been taken from his trailer after watching "Arab COPS" in his underwear while eating 2 day old fried chicken. Lil greasy.
  

I think this guy knows he is going down and figures he can only further his cause by admitting to a lot of shit he didn't really do. He can protect other guilty parties and also make himself appear to be the greatest hero that ever lived amongst other extremists. Either that, or we just tortured the shit out of him until he started admitting to everything we put in front of him to make ourselves look like we have everything under control. In any case, I am waiting for this thing to play out before I start celebrating. Also, can we please not pursue the death penalty and make ourselves look less like blood thirsty shitbags for once?