The Creepy Guy At The Gym

Dear Creepy Guy,

Just wanted to let you know that I REALLY don't need a spot. Seriously, I got it. If I need help I'll let you know. Actually, I won't. I'll let someone else know because you are totally creeping me out. You've asked me like 20 times and the only people who would do such a thing are stalkers and Super Christians and I don't have room for either in my life right now.

Also, if you could cut the chit-chat in the locker room, I'd really appreciate it. I do not like talking to other guys when I'm naked. Don't stand around waiting for me to take my head phones off either. That is not some sort of signal. I just can't change my shirt with my iPod on.

Another locker room issue I have is that you apparently don't realize that you can pass me by stepping to the other side of the bench. No need to brush by in your towel. If you do it again, I might freak out a little. Actually, I might freak out a lot.

Finally, eat a fucking Certs or something. You got salami breath real bad.

Sincerely,
Michael K

A Lesson Learned

If you are having coffee with a group of people and you notice that a woman has a cigar case in her purse, do not say, "Hey, you must really like the tobaccy. What kind of cigars do you smoke?" There is a good chance that she does not carry cigars in it.

So Long, Tim.

Tim Russert died today. Sunday mornings won't be the same. Here he is busting Cheney's balls:



Good times.

Finally

Last night should have finally brought the campaign to a close but Hillary has decided to hold out and not make a concession speech. I imagine she is holding out for some concession form the Obama campaign. I imagine it is something to do with carrying her agenda forward. I hope that whatever it is, she either gets it or gets over it soon. It's time to get on with the ass kicking we are going to give McCain.

If this is any indicator of the treatment McCain is going to get from the press in the months to come, this is going to be a fucking blowout.



Yes, those are FOX news correspondents making fun of Johnny "Geritol" McCain.

While I am in cocky swagger mode I'd like to add, "GO CUBS!"